You Can't Escape FATE
by juls2006
Summary: Edward says goodbye to Bella forever, but FATE has a mind of its own. She has placed them in the same town, even better the same school... will this change edwards mind? will bella forgive him?
1. 1 BELLA Master

**Disclaimer - The characters and the main roots of this story belong to Stephanie Meyer and her Twilight Saga. I do not own any brands mentioned in the following narration either.** This work of fiction is just that …fiction, and although I tried to have some geographical accuracy I may have messed up, so please be gentle!

***Read only if you are 16 or older***

What if Charlie had sent Bella back to Renee? How would have her life turned out then? Would she be able to escape her fate, her destiny? Find out

Bella has moved to Canada and has a constant battle between letting go or hanging onto her past with a death grip.

Calgary, Alberta, Canada…almost a year after the breakup.

**Bella *Master's Academy***

The sound of the blaring alarm woke me up. I turned onto my stomach and reached over with my right hand to hit the snooze button on the darn thing that rested on my night table. _Five more__ minutes_, I thought to myself. I turned my head the other direction away from the window and snuggled against my blankets trying to go back to sleep. It was useless. Oh well it's not like I wanted to go back to my dream anyway. I sighed, rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. For the last several months I had been victim of the same re-occurring dream… nightmare. Well no matter what I called it, it's not like it was either of these. It was the vivid memory of the day my heart died that haunted my sleep. That day when he left me dead alive....

"_You …don't.. .want me?_" I had said while I felt my world collapse al around me.

"_No."_ was his answer.

I shook the image off and rolled out of bed, turned the switch on my alarm to the OFF setting and headed towards my bathroom; at least here I would have some privacy. I could hear Renee downstairs making breakfast. _How much longer would I hurt because of him? How pathetic! I knew I wasn't good enough for him, and yet I still allowed myself to dream. Well I got a rude awakening alright. I should have never left Renee, I should have never gone to that damn town, I should have never . . . No that wasn't true, no matter how much I told myself I wanted to take it all back, I couldn't. I wouldn't. The time I spent in Forks was the best time of my life, minus the end of course_.

I turned the hot water on, grabbed a towel from the small built in linen closet, took off my sweats and tee shirt and stepped into the shower. I stood still under the steaming hot water, waiting for it to relax my muscles, wishing that it could somehow have the same effect on my emotions. I had allowed Charlie to send me back to Renee, poor Charlie most of the time he didn't know what to do with a teenager, let alone a broken hearted one. When he informed me of his intentions, I didn't argue, I didn't really care what happened to me at that point, the damage was already done. When Charlie phoned Renee to talk about _"our"_ decision he found out that they were in the process of looking at houses in Canada, so I had stayed in Forks a little longer than he had originally planned.

I started to wash my hair now that my body felt a little less tense, thinking back on those last weeks I had spent in Washington. I had become good friends with a kid from the La Push reservation, and found myself spending all of my free time in his garage instead of seeking the company of Jessica, Mike or Angela. I would have enjoyed their company as much as they would have enjoyed taking trigonometry tests. So I killed time with Jacob Black, watching him build motorcycles and then riding them together. It really hurt him when I left, but by then I was so tortured by all of the memories that I felt I really needed to get away from there. And now, many miles away, I still couldn't escape them.

I turned off the water and stepped out onto a green mat where I toweled myself dry. I wrapped the towel around my body and started to blow dry my hair straight. We had just moved here towards the end of the summer, just in time for Phil to take off again. The house came as part of a contract he had signed with a Canadian League, so Renee said goodbye to the beaches and palm trees and hello to her new home. She fell in love with it the second she laid her eyes on the two story building, immediately making mental plans on many projects that she would never start.

I walked into my small walk-in closet to grab my garments for the day, today was the first day of my senior year and I was not very happy that individuality had been taken away by the administration of my new school. Phil and Renee had enrolled me in a private academy that apparently still was ruled by old fashioned freaks. So I chose my undergarments rejoicing in the fact that I could at least decide on those and grabbed a couple of hangers out of the left side rack I walked into my room holding out my freshly dry-cleaned uniform. I slipped into my navy pleated skirt wincing at how the hem rested just above the knee. _Great_, I thought and proceeded to take a white short sleeved collared blouse of the second hanger. I stood in front the full size mirror mounted on the door of my closet and buttoned the six buttons of the blouse, undoing the last one that was right at the neck. _Five will have to do… I hate skirts!!_

"Bella?" my mom's voice called from what seemed to be the foot of the stairs. "Are you ready honey? You don't want to be late."

"Almost mom." I called back. I turned and grabbed a pair of knee length white socks and the red tie I had laid out the night before on a chair at the corner of the room that was closest to the door. Then I dug my pair of black converse shoes from under the bed, rejoicing once again to have a choice on something that the public eye could appreciate… or grimace at depending on who the observer was. I climbed down the stairs one at the time, while I slid the noose of the tie over my head, leaving it loosely done.

"I think I'll just have a bagel." I said walking into the kitchen; Renee's culinary skills left a lot to wish for. "My stomach is feeling kinda queasy." I added for the benefit of her feelings.

"Are you nervous?" She glanced up from the newspaper, coffee mug in one hand.

"No." I lied as I opened the refrigerator door. I poured myself a glass of milk, popped the bagel in the toaster and sat on a bar stool behind her. I put on my knee length socks and slipped on my shoes leaving the shoe laces untied.

"Good. I am sure you will be making friends in no time."

"I can't wait." I replied flatly.

"Bella!"

"Huh"

"A little enthusiasm wouldn't kill you, you know."

"I can't wait to meet new people mom, I am so so so excited." Sarcasm ringing through every word.

I finished the last of the milk, threw the half eaten bagel in the trash and rinsed my dishes in the deep stainless steel sink. I put them on the top rack of the dishwashing machine and kicked the door shut. At least my hands would catch a break from doing dishes here.

"Honey, I wish you would just drive my car instead of that wretched thing." she made another attempt to discourage me from riding my 2002 Suzuki Katana.

"I'm really good at it, as you know. Plus beats parking miles away from campus, they have their own designated spots right by the side walk." I replied flashing her favorite smile towards her. A trick I pulled when I wanted to get my way.

"Fine, but text me as soon as you are parked with both feet on the ground," she requested in a stern but resigned voice as I was getting my keys from the basket in the hallway by the front door.

"Ok mom, I'm leaving now… I love you." I answered opening the door that led to the garage. I waited knowing a command was coming way.

"I love you too Bella, and for the love of god wear your helmet!"

"Sure sure." I answered in the same way my friend Jacob did. _I wonder what he is up to right now?_

The wind was exhilarating, though I couldn't really appreciate it while wearing my helmet. But a deal was a deal and Phil had helped me ease Renee's complaints by making me sign a contact clearly specifying that I must wear a helmet at all times, and violating such terms would lead to the sale of my Katana. They got me there! I loved my bike and would follow all reasonable rules so that I could keep it. Learning to ride bikes with Jacob had led to my new passion or I should say obsession… Speed.

I was glad to have come with Renee last Friday to tour the school grounds and find my way to my classrooms while she chatted with the school principal, and paid my yearly tuition. Especially now that I was arriving at to the parking lot, it was packed with many vehicles, all of which were under 2 years old. My old truck would have stuck out like a sore thumb here, not that my bike wouldn't but it was in a lot better shape than my last vehicle. I veered around a white beamer and pulled up next to a shiny midnight blue motorcycle. I killed my engine, and kicked the side stand to let my bike rest under me. I dismounted, taking off my helmet and shook my hair loose letting it rest on my shoulders and back. I was sure it was in sudden disarray now but nothing a brush couldn't fix. I took out a brush and ran it a couple of times through my now long hair, untangling it and letting it flow loosely at my back.

I adjusted my backpack and started to walk towards the main entrance of the castle looking building. As I walked by I noticed the bike next to mine had the words Kawasaki Ninja on the side panel in shiny silver letters. I wished I knew more about bikes and made a mental note to call Jacob later tonight and ask if that bike could kick my bike's butt. I guess somewhere down the line I had turned a bit into a daredevil...a clumsy daredevil. Not a good combination.

As I was approaching the huge building I remembered my promise to Renee so I swung my back pack around to the front and dug in its side pocket for my Sony Ericson phone.

**At school now. Made it OK. C U tonite.**

I clicked the send button, and slid the phone back in its pocket, fixing my backpack on both of my shoulders as I pulled the glass door open. I was a little intimidated by the size of this school, given the fact of the size of the previous one I had attended, but quickly re assured myself that it would be no different than Phoenix. Well it will differ in the fact that every girl here will look the same as me, in clothing that is. My self esteem had suffered a great deal since the break up.

I entered the office and greeted the secretary, introduced myself and told her who I was and that I was told to come here first thing. She turned to her flat screen monitor, typed away for a few seconds, made a 180 turn got up and retrieved a single sheet of paper from a printer. She handed me my schedule while answering the ringing phone, holding up her right index finger at me, signaling me to wait.

"Master's Academy?" She paused "Please hold." she reached and pushed a button.

"Ok miss Swan your locker number is two oh eight, and you fill find it towards the end of the hall to the left side. That's the two hundred section. It's a full length locker so no need to worry about sharing. Your locker combination number is written in at the bottom of your schedule sheet, but feel free to bring a lock of your own. Any questions come back here or you can ask our hall monitors. Have a nice first day and welcome to Master's Academy," with that she picked the receiver up again and turned to her monitor.

I glanced at my schedule to double check my first class, English IV. I walked down the hall checked the exact location of my locker and started to make my way to the classroom which was located in the fourth floor, again grateful to have become somewhat acquainted with this massive institution.

_Great nothing like a couple flights of stairs to start the day, I hope I can make it all the way up in one piece._ My sense of balance hadn't gotten any better and it was a wonder how I managed to keep my motorcycle upright. No wonder Renee was so concerned.


	2. 2 EDWARD Pain

**Edward *Pain***

_Twilight. _

The end of another day and the return of the night, the only real way to notice time for us. I leaned with my arms resting against both sides of the window frame staring at the fading horizon in what had been my room for the past year or so. Tomorrow we would start the boring routine and in preparation for it Alice and Jasper had gone hunting, Rosalie and Emmet joining them, since they started college the same day. They didn't bother to ask me anymore; they had long gotten used to my solitude and avoided me as much as I avoided them.

So here I was lost in my thoughts, replaying every moment spent with her, torturing myself. The first time I laid eyes on her beautiful face…. How I almost killed her that first day in biology class…. When I saved her life when Tyler lost control of his vehicle that early school morning…. How she kept true to her word, not revealing to anyone what exactly had happened behind that van….The way I was drawn to her, and when I finally gave up avoiding her altogether…. How I felt every time she spoke my name, even when she was totally aggravated with me….. Her smell, her touch… her kiss.

_Damn my immortality! If I was human, I would be with her, we would be together and no harm would ever come her way. _I was pacing back and forth now.

_Yeah dream on! If I was human, I would have never met her, never had the chance to look into those chocolate pools that are her eyes, or be witness to the way her cheeks flushed beautiful scarlet red. No it was my being immortal that led me to her and it was my love for her that made me realize I HAD to leave her. She deserved better, someone she could share all the beautiful things a human life has to offer, someone who would age with her. Someone that would never put her in danger just by their own existence. Yes, she must have that, its best for her and although she may not realize that now, she will one day when she has fulfilled her human life to peaks of its potential. But …maybe I could peek in? I could be in Forks tonight, and see how she is? Make sure she is ok. What if she is ill? It can't hurt to look, no one would notice me. I could just wait until the whole town sleeps, run on foot to ensure no mistakes.…NO! No, this was your decision Edward! Stick to it. It must be as if I never existed, and that means I have to let her go. I HATE THIS!!!!! Damn it!_

I punched the wall, immediately regretting that decision, not that Esme would say anything to me... Not that anyone would.

I walked to my leather couch and settled into a sitting position, resting my head against it, looking at the ceiling. The hunting party had ended and I could hear Rosalie and Emmett running up to their room, her giggling and he playfully growling at her, no doubt ready to get a start on their nightly routine.

_UGH_

I reached to a small table beside the couch and grabbed my I-pod, not caring what play list it came on, just glad to have something to drown all that racket. And there I sat, motionless, until the sun came up.

_This is really starting to get old._ How I wish that I could do away with all the pretending already. But I couldn't be selfish Carlisle and Esme had done so much for over for almost a century now that I owed to make an effort. It's not like attending High School classes would kill me.

_Ha! If only it were that easy._

I got up from the leather sofa and pulled my I-pod earphones off and threw the thing onto the same place I was just sitting. I was never a fan of I-pods but ever since I came back from Alaska I found it to become almost a necessity. It was the only way to block out all of their thoughts, and nightly activities. I was so sick of all of them worrying about me, wondering when I was going to snap. Well all of them but one, Rosalie could care less about my feelings but she was always a self centered bitch so of course this was no surprise.

I grabbed a hanger that had a pair of navy blue slacks and another where a long sleeve collared dress shirt hung neatly pressed. Who needed dry cleaners when you had an all too eager mother figure? I changed into my clothes grabbing a red tie from my dresser drawer and headed downstairs.

I had just turned the corner into the living when her hissing thoughts made me turn around and head towards the garage.

_Idiot!_

Rosalie was already getting on my nerves, thank my lucky starts that her and Emmett had graduated last year, but she was right to be upset with me, as a matter of fact they all did. I single handedly brought turmoil into our home, I had made us move suddenly and when I was around I was in a foul mood. Sometimes I wished I would have stayed away, dealt with my misery all alone, but Carlisle and Esme had made several trips to Alaska in hopes of convincing me to come home and I finally gave up. I would hurt no matter where I was, that was for sure.

I walked into the garage and noticed Carlisle's Mercedes and Esme's mini coupe were both already gone. I figured Carlisle had either left early for the hospital or he hadn't made it home yet. But where could Esme have gone to so early?

I got in my Volvo and turned my stereo on a setting low enough to allow Chopin to become background noise and on and settled in the driver's seat. Alice and Jasper arrived only seconds later, with Alice climbing in the back seat.

"Where's Esme?" I asked looking at Alice through the rearview mirror as I pulled out of the garage.

_She starts teaching at the University today,_ she replied without a sound a little startled at the sound of my voice. But then her second thought was full of irritation in it. _What …are we talking now_?

"Hmm I had forgotten all about that."

_That's not the only thing you have forgotten about! You forgot that she was my friend, that I loved her too! For crying out loud Edward, you are such a selfish ass!!!_

This was the most I had heard of her in a long time. Alice was practically screaming her thoughts at me, freeing all the frustration she had suppressed the past several months.

"Whatever Alice." I growled back, steering the Volvo onto the highway, letting my foot punch the gas pedal until we reached a speed of 125 mph.

"Uhm, will someone clue me in? I'm not very good at filling in the blanks of a one sided conversation," Jasper said, he glanced at me then back towards Alice, and back to me again.

"Alice called me selfish for forgetting how she felt about ...........Bella." It was hard saying her name out loud; it only intensified the pain I felt.

"NO!" She screamed from the back seat. "I called you selfish for not allowing me to MAINTAIN a relationship with her. Just because you didn't want her doesn't mean I didn't. You didn't let me at least say goodbye and then you won't let me even try to see her future, to make sure she is ok." She turned her face towards the window. " _Not that I can do that anymore anyway_." her voice got really low as she spoke that last sentence.

"Damn it Alice! You've gotten it all wrong. Can't you see?! She almost DIED because of me, because of what I am. Not once, but twice!! She is better off if she has no association to any of us!" Just then I realized what her murmur was at the end of her response. I slammed on the brakes causing the car to fish tail for a second or two. In a matter or milliseconds, I was pulling her out of the back seat of the Volvo.

"What did you say?!" I growled, my face within inches of hers.

"EDWARD!" Jasper was pulling me away from her, just as he let a sudden calming mood around me. "Come on, bro." But I was too angry to feel the full effect of it; all it managed to do was drop my anger down a notch.

"You have been looking at visions of her?" I was standing in the middle of the highway now, keeping my distance so I wouldn't pounce on her.

She only looked back at me, half frightned to see me behave this way towards her, half angry ready to attack if needed be.

"I asked you...NO! ....I ordered you to leave-her-alone!" I took extra time pronouncing each word, in a loud hateful voice. I let myself drop to the ground, sitting with my knees in front of me, hands at my head, fingers pulling at my hair. Anger had turned to curiosity "And how come I never saw your thoughts of her?" I let out in a low whisper.

Jasper took a stance between us blocking my view from her, worried that I would get in her face again, or worse.

"I've lost her…. I can't see her anymore; it's been so long I'm not in tune with her…I think." She replied at the same time she was thinking - _You were gone at first, and then when you came back you kept yourself isolated in your room. I tried to think of other things when you were around, I guess that's how._

Just then she allowed herself to remember what she had seen, Bella laying forest for hours not moving, not responding to the voices that called her name. I had been mistaken; the last ten months had not been hell, seeing how much pain I had caused her with my lies, THAT was hell. The pain that had dwelled in me was now intensified and was almost unbearable. I rolled onto the ground and curled in a ball, if I could cry I would be sobbing unstoppably. I felt Jasper's hands on my shoulders, as he tried to easy my agony, and once again he was only able to minimize it by a little.

Minutes passed by and I regained my composure, finally able to get back in the car to finish our drive.

_I hate to see him like this, to feel him this way. I can't bear it, I can't help him. _Jasper was thinking to himself as we were pulling onto the school parking lot.

I ignored his thought, I felt ashamed of loosing control some odd miles back. What had Alice said about not seeing Bella anymore? Did she mean she was … hurt? No that couldn't be it, not seeing her was a result of the emotional distance between them. That's got to be it, but I couldn't shake the off the fear that she might be in trouble, or worse.... that she had ceased to exist.


	3. 3 BELLA Pathetic

**3. BELLA *Pathetic***

_You'd think a school this size could afford elevators._ I thought as was climbing the last three stairs that led to the fourth and final floor. As soon as I reached the last one, something caught my foot, sending me face first onto the floor. There was a loud SMACK as my face collided with the white tiled hallway, causing several heads to turn my direction. I sat up, immediately embarrassed but pretending nothing happened was defiantly out of the question.

"Are you ok?" asked a male voice. A guy my age was now kneeling in front of me at eye level, his hazel eyes trying to asses the damage of my landing.

"Yeah I think so, " I answered him as I stood up. _Traitors,_ I thought glancing down at my converse shoes, sure enough one foot had stepped on the loose shoe lace of the other. I looked up at the guy that was still eyeing me …_curiously?_

"I'm Daylon," he said as he extended his hand towards me, expecting a handshake. He was considerably taller than me, I'd say almost six foot tall, if not just a few inches shy. His light brown curly hair had a mind of it's own, going in various directions in charming way. A couple of strands resting just above his long curly lashes.

"Bella," I replied taking his hand. It was soft and just warm enough, unlike the hands I had held before…. It was _normal._ Not freezing cold, and not super hot either. Instead of feeling a sense of relief, i was overwhelmed by sadness. No matter how hard I tried to move forward with my life, I yearned for some sort of connection to the past in my life, something to let me know that it had been real.

"Hi," he said a huge smile appearing across his face, just as two dimples appeared on each cheek.

"Hi." I replied biting my lower lip, this was exactly like my first day in Forks, except my _new puppy_ was Canadian and went by the name of Daylon instead of Mike - sigh. I realized he still held my hand in his and pulled it away rather abruptly. "Uhm thanks for …you know…back there. Making sure I was ok, I mean."

"Yeah don't mention it, see you around," he took a few paces backwards, his eyes still fixed on me and then turned, disappearing among the many students who scurried off to class now that the bell was ringing.

My english classroom was the size of a small auditorium, easily able to seat at least one hundred kids, and two thirds of the seats were filled already. Somehow I couldn't help but feel like I was in some sort of pre-college school.

The seats were divided by one middle asile, I took a seat right next to it, three rows from the top. I couldn't see the board very clearly from where I sat but I had enough clumsy moments for the morning and I decided I better not risk it.

I took out my spiral and set my backpack at my feet. As soon as everyone was _almost _seated a small man standing at the very bottom of the aisle began talking in a voice that did not match his size. Instead it was loud, deep and full of authority, demonstrating to the class that he had limited BS tolerance, and just to make his point across he cleared his throat as a sign that he had the floor now.

"My name is Dr. Guthrie, you may address me by that and nothing else." He started walking up the aisle with his hands behind his back, his balding head shinning as a result of the fluorescent lights.

"This is English IV if you are not a senior, you are in the wrong class." - he paused - "If you are not familiar with the reading list, you are in the wrong class," - he paused again - "If you cannot write a five hundred plus word essay with minimal grammatical errors..... you are in the wrong class." He continued, by now he had reached the top and started making his way back down.

"Punctuality is a must, tardiness will not be tolerated, and _please _" he said that last word as if he was actually pleading, "if you must miss a day, make sure that you get the notes from the day before. Expect a quiz daily, so i suggest you look to your left and the to your right and become best friends with the people you see at either side of you. This is NOT survival of the fittest and you WILL need all the help you can get."

One thing I could appreciate about a school this size was that no one really paid attention, or cared who the new additions were. Something that made me feel a little bit more at ease, my clumsiness was already enough to make me noticeable and I didn't need any more unnecessary attention. But as requested all students were turning to their sides and making themselves acquainted with their neighbors, I followed suit, turning first to my left, on the other side of the aisle sat a petite blond girl. Of course she was beautiful, and I immediately regretted sitting this close to her. I turned the opposite direction, on my right a boy with jet black hair was glancing at me, following the professors instructors. He looked like a football player, he was huge and had broad shoulders making him look kike he could tackle down a wall but there was something un athletic about him. I made a mental note to befriend this kid and avoid Barbie as much as possible, my self esteem had suffered enough already.

The class went on with the small man babbling away about something or other. I was never one to not pay attention but I got lost in my thoughts. This was different from Forks in size alone, but the dark skies and the forests made it seem like I had never left. Since our arrival in Canada we had a whole two sunny days, _ha some summer._

I sat in my chair doodling on my spiral without really paying attention what I was doing but when the bell rang I realized I had written a name several times in random places …. _Edward._

_Yup, I am definitely pathetic, _I thought reaching for my backpack. I turned to face my seat, set the backpack on the desk and stuffed my spiral in it. I was zipping it shut when someone walking up the aisle brushed against my right elbow sending a shot of electricity through me making my head snap towards that direction in a reflex like motion. But my human actions were slow and all I caught was a glimpse of the back of a bronze haired boy walking out the door.

Suddenly everything was spinning, and I couldn't breathe, but the kids were practically pushing me out the door. I walked looking for the nearest bathroom I could find all the while leaning against the walls for support. Once inside I walked to the very end and with my back against the wall I slid all the way down to a sitting position. I was still having problems with all the dizziness so I put my head between my knees, just as I had that first time he'd ran with me on his back. I heard the door open and close, girls coming in and out of stalls, several toilets flushing, water running and the hand dryer go off several times. The bell rang and after a while everything went silent. I pulled myself up, walked towards the sink and looked at myself at the mirror.

"It wasn't him." I said to the pale Bella that stood in front of me, eyes wide full of many emotions.

"But what if it is, what will I do?" she answered back, in a almost inaudible whisper.

"It wasn't him. You are ok, it was someone with the same hair, that's all. This was just a result of your doodling his name." I told her.

I nodded, splashed some cold water on my face and walked out the door.


	4. 4 EDWARD Lost in a Sea of Thoughts

**4. EDWARD *Lost in a Sea of Thoughts***

Not hunting last night was a very bad idea, the school was filled with hundreds of kids and my eyes were almost onyx black. _I'll just hold my breath all day long_ i planned as i pulled onto an empty parking spot.

All three of us go out of the car in silence and made our way into the building, driving a hundred plus miles an hour saved our butts from being late not that I cared, but I had Guthrie this morning and he had no patience for tardiness, if I wanted to remain inconspicuous I had to play by his rules. Once inside we all went our separate ways, i walked by the main office making my way to the stairs just as I heard a secretary answer a ringing phone.

_"Master's Academy and College?" _

I dashed up at four flights of stairs barely at human speed, turned the corner and was entering the _classroom _when I heard loud SMACK coming from down the hall. Another _human_ bites the dust, I thought sourly as I made my way towards the bottom of the aisle. I was rather glad that us vampires were donned a gift of balance and a gait so flawless that we almost looked like we glided across the floor, rather than walked. Indeed not having such gifts would call unwanted attention if we ever fell. Our hard skin would no doubt, create a crater on a floor.

There was three seats available in the first row, I decided to take the one closest by the wall.

_Hellooo gorgeous._

I rolled my eyes, sitting next to a red headed girl. Too bad I-pods were not allowed in the classroom , it sure would come in handy right about now.

_This class suddenly got interesting_ - came a thought from somewhere behind me.

_I wonder if his brains match his looks, if that's the case I can play stupid and aske him to tutor me._ - another thought from across the room.

Sigh. Well I will just keep staring straight ahead and try to block out as much as I can. I wish I could catch a break though, the images had gone from innocent hand holding to almost porn worthy material. _UGH._ I shut my eyes as a mental image of me and some blond girl were making out rather passionately …. On the teachers desk!!

It saddened me how today's youth was filled with all this filth, a consequence no doubt of watching to much HBO. I missed my early years as a vampire, back in the 1900s girls minds were wrapped up in the act of romance itself, not all this vivid x rated crap.

Thankfully Guthrie had walked in and was clearing his throat now demanding our undivided attention, clearing my mind from all the abuse it was taking, replacing it instead with his thoughts. - _Hmm we seem to have a full house, well I guess I better deliver my weeding out speech and hopefully I can get rid of some dense minds before the semester starts._

And so he went on and on trying to scare these poor humans out of their minds, a thought that tickled me because Guthrie was the exact opposite of the villain he tried to hard to portray. He absolutely loved teaching and enriching the mind of the many young minds that crossed his path. Finally the scare tactics ceased and he went on to discuss the syllabus for the term, outlining what books we would cover in class and which ones we would be responsible on our time. I was glad that today was all lecture, thus giving me no room for error. I reminded myself to hold my breath and use it adequately in case i needed to answer anyone's questions. Luckily this class was a solo show.

_Shakespeare? I cannot understand a single word that dude writes after the first sentence. Seriously was the dude word-dyslexic… why did he write backwards? Was he the early Yoda?_ - a guys thoughts from somewhere behind me.

I had to fight laughter on this one. How original, comparing Shakespeare to Yoda, this guy was witty. And so the class went on, interrupting me by more random thought that's involved me shirtless. _Maybe I will go to an all male school next time around._ i mussed at the peaceful thought.

_Hmm she's cute._ A guys mental voice, but not the witty one broke my thoughts. This one was different, and a little bit farther away.

So it begins humans start the school year and are yearning for some sort of relationship with the opposite s e x. At that instant the image of the object of his obsession, was in my head, as if I was the one seeing it. To his left a desk away from him, sat a girl. I couldn't see her face, she had her hair creating a curtain between herself and this guy. She was petite and something familiar about her, but without seeing her face I couldn't place her. _Hmm maybe I had a class with her last year. It's a possibility._

_How can I get him to notice me? Maybe I'll just introduce myself to him, make small talk, flash him a quick smile and then …. Drop my pen?_ - The redhead was thinking next to me.

The bell rang and I sprung up not giving her time to put her plan into action, I was one of the first people to reach the aisle with only three or four ahead of me, I was almost at the top when I noticed the girl from an earlier thought, the familiar one. Her back to me, making it impossible for me to put two and two together, just then opposite of her was a blond girl that was stepping into the aisle, I side stepped to my left to avoid physical contact with her and in turn, nudged the other girl. A sharp current of electricity run through me, just as I grazed her elbow.  
_Did she just shock me? Maybe it was the carpet and all the friction with the student body making their way to the door._

Seconds flew by, and I was out the door, not looking back or wasting time, the redhead girl was ready to make her move. Instead I turned the corner and made my way down the stairs, to my next class on the second floor, with the image of that girl in my mind.


	5. 5 BELLA Sight

**5. BELLA *Sight***

My panic attack caused me to be late to History, luckily I had the whole _I'm-a-new-student,-I-got-lost-in-this-huge-school excuse_, and my teacher ate it right up. This classroom was significantly smaller than my last, seating maybe forty or so students. I took a seat towards the back, causing a few people to stare at me, as I walked by, sure that it was due to my tardiness rather than my looks.

Once seated my mind drifted again, this time to the last minute of English class. _What are the chance that it could be him…. This city seem to fit the low profile the Cullens seeked, low cast grey skies, allowing them to participate in human activities during the daytime.  
_  
But if it was him, why didn't he say something to me? _Because he doesn't like you that's why! He broke up with you, not even bothering to reduce your relationship to the typical, "lets just be friends" status_, I thought sourly.

Could that be it? He saw me, and made a run for the exit? That's likely isn't it? No, he …. Edward wasn't like that. He was a gentleman, he would have acknowledged my presence, wouldn't he have? _Ugh, I am so confused! This was driving me insane_, I needed to find out soon.

I glanced around the room, looking at all the guys that sat here, paying attention to their hair and trying to convince myself that it wasn't Edward who I had seen, that my mind saw someone whose hair looked like his, and I was just obsessed. _Ok Bella you are definitely loosing it, just snap out of it. This is your chance to get a move on with your life._ - reasoned the logical side of me.

But it turns out my emotional side had a point too -_What life? Who am I kidding? HE WAS MY LIFE! He left and took it away, I could be a zombie for all I knew. So what does it matter if I AM obsessed! Who does it hurt? It can't hurt me anymore than I am hurting daily, so I can at least dream._

So I spent history and then economics that way. Not paying attention to what was happening around me, rather I was focused on what was happening _with-in_ me. I could feel a migraine headache coming on, as if I wasn't aching enough already.

Just like in Phoenix, this school had three separate blocks for lunch, with me being placed in the second block here as opposed to the first block in Phoenix. I had dropped off my backpack at my locker between history and economics, so I headed in that direction to retrieve the credit card Phil had given to me. I was reluctant at first, but Renee insisted that it would mean a lot to Phil if I took it. She said something about him wanting to really feel like the sole provider, blah blah blah. I had lost interest, took the card and stopped listening, much like I did every time I was around anyone. My thoughts and memories took most of my brainpower, I had even stopped my leisure reading, it was a miracle how i still some-what functioned.

I was on my third attempt at the combination lock when a voice called from behind.

"Hey Bella."

I turned, surprised that someone could be talking to me, I hadn't really said a word to anyone today. I turned to see the witness to my face-meeting-floor accident from earlier this morning. What did he say his name was? I guess the look on my face gave me away.

"It's Daylon," he offered not looking the least bit offended.

"Right, Daylon. Sorry first day, lots of new names to remember," I lied having not met anyone else today.

"No worries, we were heading to lunch," he said raising his left hand in a thumbs up motion before pointing it over his left shoulder. He was pointing at a guy and a girl. "You want to sit with us?"

The girl was a little bit taller than me, and really skinny, making her look almost anorexic, but still healthy, her face was not sunken in like those pictures they have in health books. She had the darkest black hair I had ever seen, she wore it straight coming down to just past her shoulders. Her complexion was really light, but not pale making her blue eyes stand out.

The guy could be related to her, he too had the same color hair and the same intense blue eyes, but he was slightly heavier set, not much but enough to make a noticeable difference.

"Sure." I might as well make some friends if I am planning on moving on, offered that logical side of me. By now they were standing next to him, the guy to his left and the girl to his right.

"This is Madison, and her twin brother Addison. Guys this is Bella."

"Hello," I said wondering if I should add a "nice to meet you" cliché type greeting.

"Hi.... I think we have history together." said the guy.

"Oh yeah I think I saw you when I made my tardy entrance," I lied though I am sure my blushing red cheeks gave me away. In truth I hadn't noticed anyone, my sight was tunnel visioned focused only on that empty desk in the back.

"Hello Bella," said the girl, then she turned towards Daylon, "we should probably head towards the dining hall, the lines get crazy."

"Oh well you guys go ahead, I can't get my locker to open, my wallet is inside."

"Which one is your locker?" asked Daylon.

"Two-oh-eight."

"Hey Addison, wasn't this your locker second year?"

"Yeah!" He answered full of unexpected excitement, _doesn't take much to make him happy. _i thought.

"The combination lock on it is kind of tricky, you have to do it all in one motion almost, here let me try," he stepped in front and just like he said, in one swift motion my locker flung open.

"Cool, thanks" I took my wallet and joined them.

So I walked with them not really listening to their conversation, a little glad not to have to sit alone.

We crossed the main garden making our way towards a one story building with large slightly tinted windows. We walked in through two sets of double doors, the first opened up to a lobby-waiting-area-looking room, though I had no clue why a dinning hall would have or need a lobby. The second opened to a large dinning room with three long long wooden tables in the middle, literally going from one side of the room to another.

Along the walls were several different food courts, displaying varying types of food ranging from classic home made meals, to salad bars, pizza, Mexican food, Chinese, Sandwich bar, and Greek food. We walked along the wall following the already formed line that lead up to a small woman with glasses sitting at a small desk, with a sole credit card machine sitting on top.

_Good thing I accepted Phil's offer_, I thought.

As we waited in line, I looked around the room starting from where we stood, looking at all food courts musing over what I would eat. I noticed six huge glass chandeliers that hung from the high ceiling. My eyes glanced all around making their way towards the entrance.

I saw a large group of students that were just making their way in, then did a double take towards the door where three figures stood.

I stopped breathing, my breath caught in my throat. My heart stopped beating and then started again except this time at double time. Three familiar pair of eyes were locked on me. Mine were locked on _his._


	6. 6 ALICE Bella?

**6. Alice *Bella?!?***

I tried to contain the memory of Bella lost in the forest, but the encore fight between Edward and I made it the more clear to remember. I didn't mean for him to see it, I had tried so hard to keep it from his attention before. I had never seen him that way, the way my mental images drove him to the floor in pain. I was glad to have Jasper with us, though he couldn't subside the grief completely he was at least able to take the edge off.

I deserved the way Edward got in my face and was surprised that he contained himself at that, I acted selfishly and not like a sister like at all. I was wrong and hypocritical to call him selfish, not matter how much it hurt to not have been able to say goodbye to Bella, I know he acted unselfishly. Had it been me in his shoes, I would have torn my face off.

We rode the rest of the way in silence, I purposely blanked out my mind in hopes to ease Edward's frustration with me, and Jasper overwhelming the inside of the Volvo with relaxing waves, I would think just as strong as Valium, but since I had never taken it, I couldn't be sure.

I didn't wait for Edward to turn off the engine, I was out and a few paces ahead of Jasper already, but they both caught up with me in no time. We crossed the parking lot, onto the sidewalk, passing by a couple of crotch rockets along the way up to the main entrance. I still focused my thoughts on things like upcoming fashion shows and couture designs until Edward went his way to his first class.

"I shouldn't be so hard on Edward, he really is hurting and I know that he did what he thought was best for Bella," I said to Jasper as walked to section one hundred of the lockers.

"Yeah but he's got to understand that most of us were really fond of her, especially you. Hell you loved the girl before he did. But really Alice, if you'd felt what I feel when I am around him, you'd go insane. He is crazy with pain." Jasper added as he slammed his locker shut. "When was the last time you, you know, _saw her?"_

"I am not completely sure. I saw her in the forest, laying on the cold wet grass, hurting. Then I saw her at Charlie's, I have no clue how she got there. That part gets all blurry, like I get bad reception or something, then I see her just go through the motions of day to day life, not really being aware of her actions, she was just…_there._" I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes golden from last nights hunt.

"Then one day I saw her in front of a junk yard, or something, I am not sure what it was but some kid loaded two motorcycles on the bed of her truck. I saw her get in and drive off and then … she _just disappeared."_

"Like car wreck disappeared or can't see her at all disappeared?" Jasper asked taking my hand in both of his. He lifted it up towards his lips and kissed it tenderly, his golden eyes not leaving mine.

"Can't see her at all, it's weird. It makes me feel…useless. I mean I see other stuff, things that have to do with you or Carlisle but not Bella. I did a search for accidents around Forks and surrounded areas but came up empty handed, so I think she is ok, at least I hope she is."

"You are not useless, Al. Cut yourself some slack, just because you have this gift it doesn't mean you are responsible for preventing any catastrophe known to man."

The bell rang and Jasper and I went our separate ways. I headed towards my study hall hour, which I was happy to have this morning, my head was replaying the spat between Edward and I. Besides Jasper, Edward was the closest to me, and this was the first time we had a fight like this. I couldn't help but feel lower than earth scum for saying all those things I said, but cold hearted vampires had a hard time dealing with things like these. Truth be told, I loved Bella as a sister and I really thought that she would one day join our family, our coven. But my visions were never accurate, they changed when decisions were made, and Edward breaking it off with Bella really put a damper on her becoming a vampire.

I entered homeroom and chose a seat by the window, it would be easier for humans to take my staring out the window at a tree per se then staring at a corner in the ceiling, or I guess id didn't matter if I was staring _off into space._

I sat there staring out the window, crossing and uncrossing my legs every once in a while, playing with my hair, not often but often enough to appear human, and then I saw her. Bella!

The vision was blurred and smudgy but I could tell it was her. She was angry, and with her anger came tears. She was walking, but I couldn't see where exactly just that it was outdoors and then she fell, tripped over some branch and scrapped her hands. She didn't bother to get up; she stayed there on her knees and her palms against the wet grass. Crying uncontrollably now, her breath uneven with gasps, anger turned to pain.

And that was it, a quick flash but that was enough.  
_  
Bella is alive!_ Happiness surged through my stone body, relieving all previous fears from before. _But where are you? Why are you angry and then why the sudden emotion change to sadness?_ I tried to analyze my vision, looking at her surroundings searching for some landmark to allow me to distinguish her location. But I kept coming up empty handed; all I could make out from the blur were a few trees, dark rain threatening skies and that log she tripped over. Forks? Could be, she had no reason to leave, but how come I can see her now? Something has changed, but what? I concluded what I could from this lame excuse of a vision first being that Bella was alive and the relief I felt was indescribable. She looked terrible, though I couldn't make out what she was wearing; her face was a mess maybe because she was ticked off. But mostly that I was somehow closer to her, close enough to see her even if for a mere 3 seconds, and this meant I would she her again.


	7. 7 EDWARD My Personal Hell

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**This story is rated T for content. - **

**Edward *My personal hell***

I tried to focus on my next class but it was impossible trying to ignore the really annoying thoughts of the female population, and to my shock some males too. If I had been disturbed before about how our youth had been perverted by HBO, I had no words to describe how being admired by guys made me feel. I was flabbergasted!

Instead of dwelling on that, I shifted my thoughts to the recent past, English class. Who was that girl? And why the electric connection? I had only had that reaction with Bella and she wasn't here. Could there be more that one person for someone? These days people were divorcing and re-marrying everyday, take Phil and Renee for example, according to Bella they were happy together. I had only seenRenee on one occasion, in Phoenix when Bella "fell down a flight of stairs." It could happen, that much was fact, but it couldn't happen for me. It didn't happen to my kind, once we found that someone that was it, we were hooked forever.

_My brand of heroine, _i had once told her and now those words seemed not remotely close to what she was to me.

_So what was that all about back there?_ Obviously this debate with myself was going nowhere, at least nowhere productive, instead I was driving myself a little mad, the bell rang interrupting my thoughts again, off to Chemistry class.

I took the stairs one at a time at a slower pace than the average human, and went back up to the fourth floor. Once there I walked over to a restroom and killed time in hopes to be one of the last to enter the laboratory. If luck would refuse to be by my side i would strategize, I arrived just as the last few students were walking in getting the last empty seat at the back of the room. I sat at a table I was to share with another guy, a straight one thank my lucky stars. I was pleased with having sneaked in attracting very little attention as possible.

_Daylon met a girl, huh. About time, I was beginning to wonder about the guy. Well from what he's said I bet she is kind of cute, and a real klutz. Ha ha, just what he needs, the opportunity to become her knight in shinning armor. _

I jumped at the word klutz, my thoughts running back to Bella, my Bella in need of her own guardian angel… an angel worthy of her existence. An angel that wasn't me.

My new lab partner was remembering his last class, which he shared with this guy Daylon. I could see this Daylon kid from my neighbors thoughts about him, and wow he was really excited about this human girl he was talking about, telling my nameless neighbor how adorable she was.

_Adorable_? Interesting choice of words here, so far I had heard descriptive words that went more along the lines of physical attributes rather than personality ones. Well good for this kid, hopefully his story would have a happy ending, unlike mine. And why wouldn't he? He was mortal and that was a bigger head start than I had, truth being I had no start, I had an ending. An ending caused by my own immortal hand. Truly there is no God, and if there was, He was probably getting a laugh at my expense. Well why not? go on and laugh!! Take pride in my pain! I am a forsaken creature, condemned to roam the earth for all eternity and it seemed like He was obsessed with me doing it alone_._

_ I will do it alone, I will not be responsible for the damnation of another soul, especially not hers!_

_Hmm .... Bella._

Her name pierced through my depressed thoughts like a knife. Did he just think of Bella? My Bella? Ok_ Edward, you are loosing it. If only Emmett could hear me know he would defiantly get a kick out of this one._ I tried to shake it off instead curiosity took over and I concentrated on the mind of my lab partner. He was talking to presumably a friend of his, he was tallish and had curly hair. The conversation took place early this morning, during the first class they both had together.

_You look … happy? Asked my lab partner._

_I do? Huh, you could say that I guess, I am I actually amused, replied his friend._

_Amused? Did I miss something since our ride together this morning?_

_Addison, I found her! - _So far I deducted that my lab partner's name was Addison, odd name for a guy but who was I to judge.

_You lost me Dee, who is her? Found? I wasn't even aware that you had lost somebody._

_Her is Bella... yes I found her.... and I guess you can't really loose someone you never had. BUT you can find someone you have been looking for... waiting for._

_Whoa slow down, I am so confused. You are giving me a headache._

_Ok let me backtrack a bit. I was walking to class right by the stairs when I heard a SMACK. It was really loud, so i turned to see what caused it, and then I saw her! She had tripped over her own shoelace... it was adorable. She blushed immediately when she realized I was right there at floor level beside her wanting to make sure she was okay. I introduced myself and had a chance to hold her delicate hand for a second, she said her name was Bella. I am guessing she is new since I had never seen her before._

The teacher called the room to order forcing all of Addison's thoughts to shift focus. He started off handing out textbooks and lab aid packets, as well as a very detailed syllabus.

_Damn it. What was going on? When I said that God should have a laugh at my expense, I didn't mean it literally_. I took in a deep breath, allowing the scent of my classmates blood burn deep in my throat. I pinched my nose at the tiny space between my eyebrows, I needed to get away, needed to be able to think freely without anyone else's thoughts inside my head but my own. The urge to get up and walk away was almost to hard to resist, but if I wanted more answers to the thousand questions already forming in my head, the best place to be was here, sitting beside Addison.

Of course, I was denied even that. "The Man Upstairs" really had it in for me today, Addison's thoughts were no where near his friend Daylon or his mystery girl. _Okay I am sorry I offended you, can you please go down a notch on the Edwards torture level gauge?_

I spent the remaining fifty minutes talking myself out of dementia, telling myself that there were other Bellas in the world, and although I had never actually met anyone else by that name, chances were that there were others. _Others that trip over their own shoelaces? _I frowned at the thought.

_Coincidence. Even people gifted with perfect balance fell from time to time._

The bell rang releasing some students for lunch while others were not so fortunate. I started down the stairs and walked outside to meet Alice and Jasper right outside the dinning hall. I had considered skipping it altogether but if we wanted to fit in, we had to set a precedent. As soon as I reached Alice I knew she was hiding something from me, she was trying with all her strength to focus her thoughts in Jasper, their upcoming trip to Nepal this winter, helping Esme with the her new interior decorating project, schools she would apply to for college… the list was endless. It was as if she was trying to occupy _every corner _of her mind - dead give away.

_Edward_, both Jasper and Alice greeted me in sync.

"Jasper, Alice," I acknowledged them in a low whisper, inaudible to other students already gathering around us. We moved slowly with the line through the first set of double doors, the lobby already filled up. I tried to focus in on Alice's thoughts but I was confronted with images of Paris fashion, new sports cars, and _kittens? _I smirked a bit at that last image, curiosity burning consuming all of my being now, what in the world had gotten into her? Whatever it was she was keeping it from Jasper too, his mind revealed nothing of interest to me.

We inched along finally across the second and last pair of double doors, as soon as I stepped over _his_ thoughts caught my attention.

_She's quiet. Uncomfortable? Nah maybe just a bit shy, it is her first day. I wonder what sort of music she's into, movies…books? She seems like the reader type._

Somewhere in this line stood Daylon, his thoughts easy to hear above everyone else's, though I had never ventured into his mind before. I scanned the line quickly focusing on his mind, but before I reached him …

_Bella?!_ Both Alice and Jasper caught sight of her the same instant I did.

She was unaware of our presence, her beautiful eyes scanning the huge dinning hall. The emotions within myself were overwhelming, contradicting each other. I thought about turning around and running away, I thought about stepping out of the line, walk towards her and …. What? Say hello? Dare I hug her? Then, in a matter of seconds, her eyes grazed over us, not noticing and noticing at the same time causing her to do a double take. Her chocolate pools wide, _disbelieving_ landed on my dark eyes, her face more beautiful than I remembered, her mind unreadable.

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	8. 8 BELLA Friends?

****Disclaimer - The characters and the main roots of this story belong to Stephanie Meyer, I merely own the plot and any new characters introduced to this story. This work of fiction and its my first fanfic so please REVIEW I need constructive criticism.**

*****Read only if you are 16 or older - this chapter has some language*****

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**8. BELLA *Friends?***

Edward, Alice and Jasper stood at the entry point of the dinning hall, all three of them staring at me, while I was staring at Edward. My heart was thumping at double time in loud uneven beats, so loud that I was sure Daylon and company could hear it. My breath was short, my lungs compressing and depressing as I gasped for air, never taking in the right amount it seemed. At this moment all I could think of was the last time I saw him, how he had ignored my pleas and walked away from me leaving me do _die_ in that forest. Yes to die because he knew he was everything to me, he knew that I was willing to leave my family behind so that I could spend eternity with him. A hand tugged on mine breaking my frozen gaze, bringing me back to a room of crowded students.

"Bella, you ok?," Daylon looked over at me with curious eyes, then shifted his gaze towards where mine had been a second ago.

"Uh yeah … sure… er … it's just that ……well ….. Uhm …. I just saw some old friends … haven't seen them in a long time, I think I should go say hi." I managed to spit out, my voice sounding shaky and unsure even to me.

"Want me to come with you? I don't mind." Daylon had returned his hazel eyes to me. He looked concerned and I could imagine what my face and body language was telling him, the same thing it was telling me. I was afraid. Afraid.

"No, it's ok I just need to say hi and well, catch up you know? I will see you later ok?" I pulled out of the line not waiting for his answer. My heartbeat accelerating faster and faster with each step I took getting me closer to them. It was only a few short paces, ten feet at the most but they seem to take forever giving me time to debate with myself on how I should act. My first instinct was urging me to run away as far away from them and as fast as I could. Not them, but him. The second urging me to run to him, to drape my arms around his neck and cry in his arms, but I knew he wouldn't hold me, he felt nothing for me, I reminded myself. So I settled with the third option, stopping two steps away from them.

"Alice Cullen!" I said smiling and fighting back the tears that were forming.

"Bella!" she shrieked wrapping her little arms around me, her affection was no surprise. After she let go of me I glanced over at Jasper, he had regret written all over his face.

"Won't you say hi to me Jasper?"

"Hey there Bella," he said looking like a little kid who was in big trouble.

"Jasper, you need to let that one go. No harm no foul." I tried to sound genuine and I was but my insides were shaking that I sounded totally the opposite of how I was trying to come out.

"Yeah… ok, I am really ashamed though," he blurted out low enough for me to hear.

"Bella." his velvet voice caught me of guard, my name sounded _elegant_ the way he said it, causing my breaths becoming shorter and shorter.

"Edward." I whispered turning to face him. Was it possible that he was even more beautiful than I remembered?

"What are you doing here?" His eyebrows were pulled closed together, his voice straining to keep even. Not the question I was expecting. . . .

_Was he upset with me being here? Did he think I was stalking him?_ Anguish flooded my heart, tears formed and rolled of the brims of my eyes, causing his face to become a blur. Feeling embarrassed I looked down to the floor staring at the blurry wooden tiles trying to control myself enough to come up with an answer. I didn't have time to, in one quick motion Alice's hand was around my wrist and she was pulling me out of the cafeteria weaving us between the fifty or so students that stood in the lobby. A river of tears had been unleashed, coming faster and faster rolling of my steaming hot red cheeks. She walked in front of me, never letting go of my wrist holding it steady but gently, leading the way into the thickening trees. After about a hundred yards or so we came into a clearing that was still a part of campus. A round central open space was surrounded by tiers of rocks, forming seats of about six or seven rows, stood in front of us, I recognized this as an outdoor amphitheatre. It was here that Alice stopped and turned to face me unexpectedly, I almost ran right into her. She looked at me with a sad expression, almost as if she could feel what I was feeling right now. I stood there crying and trying to breathe at the same time, feeling dizzier and dizzier by the second.

"Come and sit with me." she said and led the way to the first set of rocks. I sat on the cold wet stone not caring if my skirt got soaked, looking at the dew covered grass.

"I am not a stalker." I whispered knowing that she could hear me. "I had no idea,… you have to believe me…I am not that pathetic. If I had known, this would have happened …" I stopped realizing that I really didn't know how to end that statement. "I am not a stalker," I repeated instead looking up at her.

"I know Bella, you don't have to justify anything to me. I just want to know how you been since … well you know. I saw parts of it right after, and then I lost you ……….until today."

"You saw me?" I asked remembering that day again, remembering the voices that called my name over and over, remembering Sam Uley carrying me home to Charlie.

"Today?" I asked her realizing what she said at the end.

"It had been a really long time, it got me worried and no matter how hard I tried it was in vain. And then today, you came to me in a flash." She said gazing around us, looking at the trees and nodding to herself. "I didn't know where you were, I didn't recognize any of your surroundings, and I couldn't see your clothes. I just saw you running, then you tripped over a log… that one over there." she winced as she pointed to a fallen branch. "Something changed though. What were you thinking as you approached us."

"I was considering running away, or running to Ed - ward." my voice broke when I said his name I took a deep breath and composed myself. "But I decided to walk up to you all instead."

"That must have been it then. The vision was blurry and like I said I had no clue you were here," she said smiling at me and then she chuckled. I knew what she meant by here, not this clearing but this school.

"Thank you for getting me out of there, " I let out a breath I was calmer now. The tears had ceased and dried on my cheeks making them feel sticky.

"Oh don't thank me yet," she said looking back behind me, towards the direction where we had came from I supposed. I looked behind me but saw nothing so I faced her again, with a look of confusion on my face.

"What do you mean?"

"I am sure you have many questions that _deserve_ answers. More importantly you have many open wounds that need to close and heal, I am not the one to help with that…BUT I assure you, I can at least nudge things in the right direction," her eyes fierce with sincerity.

The forest was still quiet except for my breathing and the occasional bird chirping away in the distance, but I knew that we weren't alone anymore. I turned to see Edward standing a few feet away, just out of the trees. He had both his hands in his slacks, his red tie loose around his neck, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up just below the elbows. His eyes full of pain and indecision, were on me. I could feel my heartbeat speed up again, ignoring my commands to slow down.

I looked back at Alice with pleading eyes, hoping that she could read them and not make me do this, hoping that she would see that I wasn't strong enough to bear him telling me that he was leaving again. She looked at me with such love and encouragement, then she winked at me and fled at vampire speed stopping to face Edward. They stood there for a second at the most, eyes locked on each other. She glanced at me once more, this time with sadness in her eyes and then she was gone.

Edward walked my direction and crouched down in front of me so that we were at eye level face to face. I noticed his eyes were onyx color, and I could not remember if they had been that way when I saw him a few minutes ago. Well at least he will suffer too, I thought, it is only fair that we both hurt even if at totally different levels. I knew that my blood would be tempting to him, just as his very presence was tempting to me. I wanted to jump at him, to hold on for dear life and never be apart from him. His monstrous instincts, ones he suppressed very well, wanted to jump at me too but with a different agenda than mine. Those instincts wanted to drain every drop of my blood. I don't know how, but I managed to steady my breaths and steady my heart just a bit. From the depths of my being I gathered enough strength to break the silence.

"I am not stalking you," I let out with a breath, not my first choice of words but at least I had said something. He halfway smiled at my comment, an action that melted my heart.

"Bella… I …." he sighed and looked at the grass as if he was trying to find words embedded in the tiny green leaves. I was growing impatient as the seconds ticked by.

"Yes?" I prompted

He looked at me again, with that same look he had when he had entered the clearing, a mixture of anguish and indecision. Silence. Guess I would be the one to talk again.

"Look Edward, I am not going to cause you any trouble, ok? If it makes you happy I will gladly ignore you when and if I see you in the halls, I will try to switch my lunch block, or we can take turns… alternating days. You can have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays one week and next week alternates to me. I won't call your house, and I won't talk to Alice if you don't …" I stopped _what was I saying? What was I thinking? Here was the jerk that ruined my life and I was offering him things in an effin silver platter? Oh no!_

"On second thought, I take that back." my voice had turned from meek whispers to almost yelling. "I won't speak to you but that's it. I am not going to hide from you just because you don't want me in your personal life, this is the real world and you are just going to have to deal with the fact that we are co-existing. So I will have my lunches in the same building as yours, and I will talk to Alice if I damn well please. Edward Cullen, you do NOT own anyone!"

I had no idea when I had closed my eyes, but here I was at the end of my rant with my eyes closed, afraid to open them. I had let some of my frustration, but held most of it in. I didn't want to let him know exactly how much it hurt to be with in inches of him and not be able to reach out and touch him, and I knew I must have closed them in order to say all those colorful things to him, but he needed to be told. I could tell he was in the same position he had taken, though he didn't make a sound, but I could smell his sweet breath. _Ok Bella, open your eyes and face it…one … two …three._

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw, he was still in the same position but his eyes were filled with amusement, the corners of his lips fighting a smile. When he saw me looking at him wide eyed, he lost it. Laughter erupted from his throat and filled the forest with the musical sound. What the hell? I could feel the anger rising inside me, he must have saw it too and it took him three tries to regain composure. I crossed my arms and stared at his gorgeous face, fighting the urges to laugh with him reminding myself that this was NOT funny.

"Have I ever told you how unbelievably adorable you look when you are angry? You remind me of a kitten that believes himself to be a tiger," he stated looking a bit embarrassed for laughing.

"Have I ever told you how rude and how much of a pain you can be?" my voice full of attitude, regretting immediately the use of the word pain. I must not let him know how much this hurt.

"I am sorry, you are right. I shouldn't have laughed, and truth be told I wasn't really laughing at you." he was looking at me through his lashes.

"But you were laughing." I pointed out ignoring his dazzling effect.

"Yes," he admitted this time looking at me with profound sincerity as if that word alone could have explained.

"At what?" I urged

"Bella we must talk, but not now. We barely have enough time to make it back to the building and get to our respective classes. I assure you I don't think you are stalking me, I know you better than that."

I was about to interrupt but he held up his right index finger.

"I want to talk to you just as much if not more than you want to talk to me. We have much to discuss but please can we do it later?"

"When?" I asked impatiently.

"Today, whether it be after school or tonight. But definitely today, ok?"

"Fine, but just to be clear until then, are we … are you going to acknowledge my existence?"

"Yes."

"Are we friends then?" I asked pushing my luck but I needed answers and he owed me this much.

"Friends?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Or not." I couldn't hide the hurt out of my voice.

"If that's what you wish us to be, then friends." he said forcing a smile.

With that I got up, silently cursing myself for a not choosing a less wet stone my skirt was very damp. We started walking back the way Alice had led me, Edward keeping pace with me. I looked straight ahead trying to calm my nerves, but i would peek at him every so often and catch him looking at me every once in a while out of the corner of his eye.

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**Note from me: I cannot sit at my laptop with a chapter already in mind.**

**Instead I pick up where I left off and everything just takes over.**

**I really intended for Edward and Bella to talk it out this chapter but I just couldn't rush it, they need more time and a more private setting. Anyway please review!!**


	9. 9 BELLA The unexpected

****Disclaimer - The characters and the main roots of this story belong to Stephanie Meyer ... I do not own any brands mentioned in the following narration either.** This work of fiction is just that …fiction, and although I tried to have some geographical accuracy I may have messed up, so please be gentle!**

**AWWW you guys are so awesome! thanks for all the reviews ... ****story + reviews = happy author ******happy author + ideas in her crazy head = story**

**This is a REALLY long chapter... bear with me...**

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**9. BELLA *The unexpected***

We walked up to the main building in silence; I wasn't sure what to say that didn't involve the thousand questions. Instead I bit my lower lip and took gratefully what life had offered me, sure it was a bit cruel but I decided that having him in my life was better than not having him there at all. Well that bit was still to be decided, he could very easily tell me he was leaving again and I would be left empty handed, surely there must be a way that we could co-exist. His velvet voice interrupted my thoughts.

"What are you thinking?" he looked at me amused and frustrated that he couldn't read my thoughts, something i was grateful for today.

"How much I am going to enjoy my next class," I lied as he opened one of the two glass doors that led onto the main hallway.

"Oh yeah? Is it gym?"

"Ha! I said enjoy, not dread." I laughed. I was surprised by my reaction, how long had it been since I truly let out a laugh? I shook my head banishing those thoughts, i answered trying to sound optimistic. "It's home economics."

"Wow..." he paused. "This is something else," I couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion his onyx eyes held.

"What is?" I was confused not only by his statement but the look in his eyes.

He smirked and debated before he answered.

"First not only do we live in the same country but attend the same academy. One that has a student population of 1200 students, give or take a few. Oddly enough we happen to share the same lunch block, and now …" he smirked again this time looking at me with wistful eyes. "We are taking a class together." He shook his head, and I realized we had stopped moving.

"Are you going to pull the same stunt as you did back in Forks and try to dazzle your way out of it?" I didn't mean to sound so rude but my voice came out cold and accusing. Oops.

"Yes and no." he said as he started walking again, I followed concluding that confusion seemed to be the theme of the day. "I haven't hunted in a few days, I had intended to hold my breath all day but things don't always work out the way you intend them to." That last statement was full of a double meaning I understood quite well.

"Okay. Well you have fun taking the rest of the afternoon off. I am going to be late," I started walking away from him fighting with all my strength the desire to run back to his side begging for him to take me away. Things weren't like that anymore, I had to remind myself. Just when I regained composure his voice made me melt all over again.

"Bella?" he was beside me now.

"Yes?" I whispered feeling my cheeks blush and my heart beat speed up again, I looked into his dark eyes without fear this time.

"It's good to see you. I …." the bell rang interrupting him and I was thankful. The last thing I needed was for my waterworks to go off again.

"I have a class to get to." was all I could mutter and this time I ran away from him concentrating with each step i took hoping not to fall again.

I was late. I wondered if my excuse for today would work again, but it wasn't needed. The teacher was in a deep discussion with another colleague at the door and my tardiness went unnoticed. Phew. Students were already paired up and at their stations, leaving me to fend for myself.

Well at least for today, next time would be different, the thought of Edward and I working together had me feeling dizzy and drained. It was too much effort trying to breathe evenly and keeping my heart at a reasonable rate. Poor heart, it needed a break.

Today's class like most, was generally about safety rules, projects, text books, the whole nine yards. It allowed me to loose myself in my thoughts, I was relieved that I wasn't crazy. I was sure that it was Edward I had seen this morning.

_Yikes two classes together! _

_Okay calm down Bella, you don't know where you stand. _

_Does it matter? He is back in my life! That's enough to keep me sane and happy. What had he said, that he wasn't going to switch classes? That means he isn't leaving either... He agreed to us being friends right? Or did I imagine that? Am I imagining all of this too?_ Maybe I fell back to sleep after the alarm went off this morning and I was dreaming. Nope, if it was a dream the whole tripping over my shoelace incident would have woken me up.

My brain was going a hundred miles per hour, not only in this class but for the remainder of the day as well. I waited impatiently for the final bell to ring, making me jump when it finally did. I grabbed my books and headed to my locker, standing in front of it was Daylon, my new pup.

"Hey there Bella." He greeted me, his dimples making themselves more apparent as his smile widened.

"Hi Daylon, how was class?" I tried to make small talk while I grabbed the books I needed for homework tonight, a small load.

"Good to see your locker is not giving you anymore trouble." jeez he was observant. "Classes went OK, you know how first days are usually pretty simple." he added.

"True." I grabbed my motorcycle riding jacket, and slid my arms through the sleeves.

"So, uh, how did it go?" he blushed and looked away.

"With what?"

"Lunch.... Your friends?" he stuck his hands deep in his pockets.

"Oh that." I had forgotten he had been there. My thoughts went back to Edward and how bad I wanted to be held in his cold arms, I shook the idea out of my head before answering. "Great actually. It had been a while. It's always nice to see old friends in a new school."

We started walking towards the parking lot at a slow pace. _C'mon Daylon, I have places to be! _I glanced at my wrist watch, not really paying attention to what it read, I just wanted him to get the hint that I was in a hurry. He didn't notice.

"Well how did you like your first day at Masters Academy?" he asked with genuine interest. He was a really nice from what I could tell. Maybe we _could_ be friends, I could always use a good pal, and it wouldn't hurt to try. Plus if Edward really wanted to talk to me he would just have to wait.

"It got better." I smiled and blushed recalling our meeting this morning. "My face got well acquainted with the floor and I met a couple of nice people." We had reached my bike; I slid my backpack off digging for my keys.

He laughed and I couldn't help but join. I guess in retrospect my clumsiness was pretty funny, if he could only see me in gym.

"Where is you car?" his face surveyed the lot.

"No car." I gestured over to my Katana. "Bike."

"Nuh uh!" his jaw fell open.

"Yes huh." I laughed getting a kick out of his reaction, a little surprised at how easy he could make me laugh. I put the key in the ignition, turned it and adjusted the throttle, making the bike roar to life. I turned to see him standing on the other side of the blue bike I parked next to this morning, inserting the key into the ignition, a huge smile spread across his face.

"Ok, I thought you were cool before but now…" he shook his head incredulously. "Now you went up like fifty points."

I laughed while I drew my hair back into a low pony tail, and pulled my helmet on. I secured my backpack and climbed onto my bike, kicked the rest stand from underneath and, balancing the weight of the bike between my legs, backed out of the slot. I stopped long enough to wave goodbye and took off splashing away at any nearby spectators. _Don't guess girls ride bikes around here_, I thought up shifting until I was well over seventy miles an hour, minutes later I was pulling into Renee's garage.

"Mom?" I threw my keys onto the basket designated for all of our keys. I could hear a TV somewhere in the house. "I'm home." I called again, searching through the lounge, living and dinning room. "Hello?" I walked into the kitchen where a note from her stationary was being held in place by a vase of white lilies, her favorite.

**Bella,**

**Phil is in town for the night, he picked me up**

**and we are having dinner and maybe go out**

**dancing or who knows, there is a fifty clipped**

**to a magnet on the fridge for dinner or whatnot.**

**Don't wait up honey, we have our cells if you**

**Need us, we love you Bells,**

**- Mom**

I couldn't get used to the lifestyle Phil was providing for us, credit cards, brand-name clothing, cell phones and fifties for pizza. Living with Charlie had been nothing like this and frankly this was something I was still not comfortable with, I felt way out of my element.

I was glad that Renee had plans, that way I didn't have to explain when Edward showed up at the door. _If he shows up at all. _I knew that I hadn't given him an address but if he could find me in Port Angeles, he could definitely find me here. I climbed up the stairs headed to my closet; I got out of my uniform and choose a pair of Abercrombie jeans and a midnight blue long sleeved skinny top. I dressed and stepped in front of my huge mirror rearranging the top so that its hem rested right around my hips. I grabbed a brush from my nightstand, and ran it through my hair trying to work out each tangle into something passable. No such luck, I ran to the bathroom turning on my CHI, twiddling my thumbs while it heated up. I straightened a couple of strands in a hurry, and was surprised that my hair decided to cooperate for once.

I had been home maybe a whole twenty minutes, but I was getting angsty. _Where are you Edward? _I started pacing back and forth; maybe he'd changed his mind and had run off to Denali. Earlier I had entertained the thought that maybe he'd follow me home, but now I wasn't so sure.

As if on cue, the door bell rang sending my heart into a frenzy of slow beats followed by really fast ones. I stood frozen in the middle of my bedroom, trying to remember how to breathe all the while curling and uncurling my fingers in front me, hands intertwined. The bell rang again. I made my way back downstairs, through the hall finally reaching the front door, with my hands grazing the walls in case support was needed. I took another deep breath as I reached for the door knob and pulled the door open.

In front of me stood the Adonis of the twenty-first century, looking at me with golden eyes, a result from his earlier hunt. He wore fashionable faded blue jeans torn at the knees, and a gray button up dress shirt, looking impeccable as always.

"Hi." my voice came out in a higher octave than I had intended.

"Hi," a momentary smile reached his eyes but it disappeared so quickly that I was wondering if maybe I'd imagined it. "Can I come in?"

"Yes, of course." I held the door wide open and closed it behind him as he stepped into the hallway. When I turned to face him, he had that indecisive look again. I led him into the living room in silence, not sure how to bring the subject up. There was so much I wanted to know, but it had been hours since I last seen him and all my anger had melted away, no doubt as a result of my earlier fantasies, in which we ended up together again.

I sat in the middle of the tan sectional we had in the living room, leaving plenty of space for him to seat on either side of me. Instead he opted for the same position he had taken earlier today, crouching in front of me at eye level. His eyes holding mine, something that accelerated my heart beat yet again.

"Bella … I … I," he was at a loss for words for the second time today.

"Just say it," I whispered exhaling at the same time. "Just tell me what you came here to tell me. Don't drag it out, please." I could feel tears building up; I took a deep breath in order to retain them, his wonderful scent making my mouth water, my lips longing for a kiss that would never come.

"I am not sure where to begin." his perfect beautiful eyes looked at me with _longing?_ Did I imagine that?

"You laughed at me," I prompted trying to pick up the conversation where it left off.

"I wasn't laughing at you…" he said shaking his head.

"Then I must have missed the joke," I cut him off, my voice bitter, not hiding the feelings of pain, anger and resentment that were rushing back now. I balled my hands into fists at either side of me, turning my knuckles white.

"Bella… please." he looked pained too.

"Please what Edward? What did you expect from me? To be okay with the fact that you led me on? Because that is what you did." I was practically yelling at him. "You cannot tell me that you will love me _forever _and then without so much as a warning break up with me, pretty much telling me that I mean _nothing_ to you. Telling me that things will be as if you never existed." Hot tears began streaming down my face, recalling the moment I found my bedroom bare of my gifts.

"And then you take my personal belongings!? You had no right, those things were mine. But even though you took everything that could possibly remind me of you, you forgot one thing.... My bleeding beating heart!" I was pounding my chest, tears staining my shirt and jeans.

"I lied," his face was twisted in agony, almost as if he himself was on fire.

"You sure did, my life could NEVER be as if you never existed." I yelled through sobs.

"No, Bella. I lied. I lied about not loving you anymore, about not wanting you in my life." he whispered, his golden orbs burning with sincerity.

"What?" I let out with a breath. "Why?" my last word was inaudible to me, but he heard it.

"I feared for your life, we got lucky once with James but that wasn't a risk I was willing to take again. I am a monster, and although I can restrain myself there are no guarantees that others will too. Take Jasper for instance," he explained in such a way that if he were able to cry, I knew I'd see tears in his eyes.

"That was an accident." I fought back through gritted teeth, tears not ceasing.

"Your paper cut was an accident; his reaction to your… blood was _not. _Can't you see, you deserve a shot at a normal life." he reasoned.

"That is _not_ your choice to make!" I retorted, tears burning my eyes.

"You are not the smartest person to make choices where your safety is concerned." he snapped back in a low hiss.

_I rather be dumb and happy than smart and miserable. _I wanted to shout back.

"You do not have the authority to make the choices that belong solely to others. You do not have the authority to make choices for me." I got up and walked around him to pace back and forth in the middle of the room. "I can't believe that you think me to be that stupid! Starting out I KNEW I was taking a chance on you." I paced one way.

"I KNEW the possibility of things ending in tragedy existed. But my love for you was more powerful than reason itself." I turned and started pacing the other direction.

"I would have happily traded a short lived life for precious time spent by your side. It's not something I took lightly, I was always aware of where my actions might lead." I said turning to face him; he had taken my position on the couch, his left hand pinching the tiny space where the top of his nose met his brow.

"You shouldn't have to make that choice." he growled.

"If not me then no one," I yelled through tears. "Not you, not Charlie not Renee. Edward you have to understand that the only fate in your hands is your own."

He opened his mouth to protest but before he could make a sound the phone started ringing. I almost let it go to voicemail, but decided against it instead I walked over to an end table and picked the silver cordless handset after 4 rings.

"Hello." I said trying to steady my voice.

_"Yes, hello may I speak with Renee Dwyer?" a business like female voice replied at the other end._

"She is not home right now, is there anything I can help you with? I wiped tears from my face with the palms of my hands.

"_It's a family matter of extreme urgency, is there another number I can reach her at?"_

"Family matter?!" I could feel my heart falling to the pit of my stomach. "I am her daughter, Isabella Swan. Can you please tell me what is so urgent?" I pleaded.

"_Oh, Miss Swan I didn't realize." She hesitated, then continued with a empathetic tone, "It's about your father; he's been in an accident."_

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**I told you it was really long! I almost thought about posting half **

**and half... but I am not THAT mean. =) **

**Please REVIEW =)**

**Oh and yes to those of you that WILL notice, i changed schools on you guys.**

**It so happens that FulFord is not as big as I made it out to **

**be in my story, its actually a REALLY small school.**

**However, Masters Academy is HUGE. **

**Hope this doesn't cause any confusion...**

**ok**

**review**

**please**

**=)**


	10. 10 EDWARD The call

**It has been a while since I last wrote. I had a CPU problem and lost Chapters 10 and 11. This chapter is a re-write, and its not as long nor as good as the original was. Bare with me. **

**I do now own ... SM does...lucky!**

**Edward Chapter 10 - The call**

_Oh, Miss Swan I didn't realize." She hesitated, then continued with a empathetic tone, "It's about your father; he's been in an accident."_

I could hear the female voice coming from the speaker of the cordless phone, but it wasn't so much the words that she spoke, but Bella's reaction that sent a flicker of pain across my chest.

Bella… she looked terrified, scared and guilty all at the same time. She let the receiver drop onto the dark brown carpet that covered the living room, and the little color her pale skin held drained from her face. I don't know what compelled me to embrace her but before I had time to process the thought I was at her side, with my cold arms around her petite body, keeping her from falling to the floor.

"Charlie…" she let out in a strained whisper, her eyes reminded me of how Alice looked when she was having one of her visions. Cold. Lost. Distant.

"Oh Bella I am so sorry." was all that I could say. I held her close to me, my hands tracing a pattern on her back. I had a million questions I wanted to ask. Questions about us, about why she left Forks, and about Charlie. I knew better than to burden her with the first two sets of them, right now was clearly not the time. As for the last, well I knew as much as she did at that point.

"_Hello? Hello? Miss Swan are you still there?" _the female voice came from the receiver. I wasn't sure what to do. I felt as if I let go of Bella she would collapse, but I needed to inquire about Charlie, clearly she was in some state of shock and couldn't speak.

Bella must have been thinking the same thing, or at least that was all I could deduct. She lifted her head from where it rested on my left shoulder blade and looked at me with pleading tear filled eyes. I knelt to pick up the cordless phone in one quick motion, not letting go of Bella at the same time.

"Hello, miss Swan is indisposed at the moment, I am sure you understand." I said sounding as polite as possible, I would try to get as much information, it was the least I could do for Bella.

"_Yes I do, are you family? I can't release any information unless …"_

I cut her off, I had to.

"No I am not family, could you just please tell me where you are calling from?

"_Seattle Grace Hospital."_

"Thank you, we will be in touch with you." I said into the receiver and pressed END. I took the small silver cell phone I carried with me and dialed a too familiar number. One ring, two rings, three, four. Voicemail. Damn it, c'mon! I hit the redial button and waited… On the third ring he answered.

"Edward, I am sorry I was in surgery."

"Carlisle, I need a favor."

Never letting go of Bella, I delivered the few details and requests to Carlisle in a little under five seconds, my voice I am sure sounding like one long slur to her human ears. Carlisle understood and promised to call me back soon with details. I hung up, and turned the cell phone from vibrate to loud setting and set it on the coffee table. Bella was shaking and I wasn't sure if it was from my body temperature or the turn of events. Perhaps it was a combination of both. I lifted her off her feet and carried her as if we were newlyweds walking across the threshold, I walked back to the spot I was seating at moments ago and sat down with her across my lap. She was still paler than I have ever seen her before.

"Carlisle will call me back with information." I said trying to sound reassuring, hopeful even. She simple nodded her head as she hid herself into my chest, quiet sobs escaping her tiny torso.

"Bella, everything will be ok. You'll see. Your dad, he is a cop. it's a very dangerous occupation, but he is a smart man and I am sure he took the necessary precautions. You'll see, everything will turn out ok." I repeated in a hushing voice, trying my best to soothe her, to calm her. I hated to see her in agony, I had already caused her so much pain. She did not deserve this. It was as if the universe had a goal of making this poor girl's life miserable. My words did not have the intended effect, in fact they seemed to have just the opposite, her sobs got louder, more uneven, uncontrolled.

My frozen heart went out to her, I hurt because she hurt and I couldn't do anything but sit here and wait. It was nerve racking.

"Shh… shhh…" I tried to sooth her again, this time rocking my body back and forth, my hands at the back rubbing her in circles.

"it's … all …. muuhhh… fault." she let out in between her pained sobs.

"No Bella, please don't think that way. Things like these, they come with the job." I stopped rocking her and lifted her up from how she sat across my legs and into a position where she was straddling me so that we could face each other.

I put both my hands at either side of her beautiful tear stained face, my thumbs at her cheek bones. I looked into her dark brown eyes, and couldn't help but smile at how angelic and stunning she looked right this second, with tears adorning the corners of her eyes, her damp eyelashes clumped together, her nose scarlet red.

She stared back at me, and I could hear her heart stop and skip a beat only to pick right back up and race at double the rate. Her lips slightly parted and she let out her enticing aroma in one breath. In that one second I lost control. I pulled her close to me inhaling her as she got closer and closer, my eyes never leaving her lips. I could feel my own breathing grow short and ragged, a low growl rested at my throat. I couldn't wait any longer I had to taste her again, it had been too long.

Ironic how a year can seem so long to an immortal like myself but any second spent away from her felt longer than my almost hundred years of life. I bent my head down, closed my eyes as I got within sixteenths of an inch for her. Her breath matched mine, and her arms were instantly around my neck, her slender fingers running through my disheveled hair, her heart creating a fast thumping rhythm that sounded like a melody to my ears. The sharp sound of my Clair de Lune ring tone broke the enchantment that had captured both of us. In an instant she was off me and at the table picking up my cell phone and throwing it at me.

"Carlisle?" I spoke onto the Blackberry Pearl, my eyes not leaving her.

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**Please review... I know its short =( **

**I am working on re-writting chapter eleven... **

**Reviews = happy me. Happy me = more chapters! **


	11. 11 BELLA White

**Bella Chapter 11 - WHITE**

I don't know what I would have done had Edward not been there.

That phone call would go on to be one of the worst moments of my life. When the woman said Charlie had been in an accident, I totally lost it. Instead of being brave and not giving into my emotions, I became like a turtle and retreated into my shell. I knew that something like this would happen to Charlie if I left him, and at the time I didn't care, all I wanted was to get away from the pain and all the memories. Looking back on things my actions were so selfish and Charlie was dealing with the consequences now.

Something inside me was telling me that this was no accident, Charlie had been a cop for 22 years and not once had he been badly hurt. No, this was not a job related accident like Edward wanted me to believe. Something else must have happened …but what? All Carlisle was able to find out was that Charlie had arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital about fifteen minutes before that awful phone call. That he was brought in via care flight from Forks Local Hospital and that now he was in surgery. Nothing more. No details, no police report, no friends at his side.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not realize when Phil and Renee came home, the smell of her sweet perfume made me aware that she had taken a seat right next to me. Edward must have caught them at the door and told them what little we knew.

"Honey?" her voice came sweet, tender but she couldn't hide the fear in her voice, both syllables trembling as she spoke them.

"Mom, we have to go see him." I pleaded, my throat feeling dry and itchy.

"I know baby, Phil is on the line with his manager. He's going to see if he can borrow the private jet so that we can take off right away." her hand reached over to touch my cheek.

"I'm scared mom." I leaned into the palm of her hand, hoping that her touch would ease my fears.

"Come here honey," she wrapped her arms around me, engulfing me inside her chest just the way she had when I was little and had woken up in tears due to the night terrors that haunted me in my early years.

My eyes were burning from the many tears I had shed in the last… what hour? Could it have been that long? I closed them tight wishing that somehow this was all a nightmare too and that Renee would soothe me and make me realize that I was in fact dreaming.

Phil's voice let me know that I had no such luck.

"Plane will be ready for us in twenty minutes; we should grab a travel bag and head out."

I caught sight of Edward; he was leaning against the doorway with his arms across his chest, and wondered how I had forgotten about him momentarily. This evening was certainly not turning out the way I had hoped. Not at all.

"Will you come with me?" I walked over to him, extending out my left hand; he reached back with both of his taking mine in between them.

"Yes," he said looking over my shoulder, I guessed at Renee, she had made no attempt to move. I turned and faced her, my hands not letting go of Edward's. She simply nodded, stood up and made her way upstairs.

"You should probably go pack something," he nudged me in the direction of the wooden staircase.

"Don't you need to go pack too?"

"No, I will be fine, plus it's not like we have time." He answered giving me a sly smile. I knew what he meant, he probably could go to his house and back before Renee, Phil and I could do our light packing, but that would raise questions. It was best he stayed; it made me feel a little bit calmer anyway. Again I was thankful that he was here and that he would be making the trip with us.

I nodded and headed upstairs to my still-foreign bedroom. I took a small travel bag and started throwing clothes in there not really paying attention what I was pulling off hangers and out of drawers. I was simply going through the motions; my head was too preoccupied with other more important thoughts.

In the midst of all the madness I still yearned for us to finish what we started. I was more confused than ever. He loved me? Maybe I imagined that… no he said it. I wondered if maybe he was staying with me because he felt sorry for me. He must feel obligated to provide emotional support for a basket case like myself, and right now I really needed it no matter the reason. Charlie came first and my personal life could be sorted out later. The guilt I felt could not be subsided, I knew that Charlie was a grown man and could essentially take care of himself, but he still depended on me and I deserted him.

I was not spiritual by any means, I think the last time I had attended church was when Renee had gotten re-married, so I knew my standing with the man upstairs was not so great. Still I closed my eyes and said a few words that I thought might pass on as a prayer.

_God, please let him be ok. Please, please, please. _

* * * * * * * *

I was on my way out when my Sony Ericson started ringing a familiar tune somewhere in the bedroom.

_Great what did I do with my cell?_

I dropped my duffel bag and followed the sound throughout the room. I found it on the floor, under the bed.

_The things I will do when I am not used to having this awesome piece of technology, _I thought as I retrieved it from its former hiding place.

ONE MISSED CALL

Jacob.

I waited for the voicemail alert but instead it started ringing again. _He must have heard about Charlie_, I guessed.

I pressed the ANSWER and dropped myself onto my bed, "Jake?"

"_Hey there Bells! How was you first day?"_ He asked in his usual happy voice. My guess was wrong, he was just being Jacob. My friend, who would call non stop just to hear my voice, I took a deep breath before I spoke again.

"Interesting would be an understatement, but I will fill you in on that later. Uhm … is Billy there?"

"No he wasn't here when I first got back from school, and I didn't hear any vehicles pull up while I was in the garage, he must be at Charlie's watching a game. Why what's up?"

"No Jake, he is not _with_ Charlie." I felt my voice break and tears re-appeared at the corners of my eyes. "Oh Jacob…" I started sobbing and in between sobs I told him what I knew.

"I'm going to say something and don't get mad ok? … Calm down, things will look up. Listen to me ok? I will meet you at the hospital. Until then try and hold it together and whatever you do keep your eyes open and stay out of harms way."

I couldn't help but smile at his words. "Sure Jacob, I will keep my eyes open."

"Okay I will go over to the Clearwater's, maybe my dad is there, I know he will want to be at Charlie's side. I will see you at the hospital…. Oh and hey Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that no matter what, I will be here for you. Don't you?"

"Yes Jake, you are a true friend."

* * * * * * * * *


	12. 12 BELLA The Well

**Bella Chapter 12 – THE WELL**

I walked through the ER doors behind Phil and Renee with Edward at my side; I could feel his eyes always on me. I guess he was worried that I would go into shock or hysteria. After not having him around for a long time, the attention felt nice I welcomed it, and enjoyed it even.

The flight had been short but not fast enough, I still couldn't believe that Carlisle wasn't able to provide us with any more details. It sort of made me wonder if he knew something but had refused to let Edward in on it. Or worse, that he had told Edward and he was keeping me from some awful reality.

I shot an accusing glance at my guardian angel, as soon as my eyes met his golden orbs I felt ashamed to have even entertained that notion. No, Edward was just as lost as I was.

We stopped at a nurse's station and got re-directed to the west wing of the hospital, the ICU and Trauma Unit. This could not be good news, but at least he was alive. We walked and walked for what seemed eternity. Each hallway looking the exact same, white walls, pictures of staff hung on them, white tile floors.

White.

White.

White.

I wondered if it was meant to be soothing, as if the whiteness would create some sort of numbness to all the people that walked these halls. I felt no numbness, I was terrified. I had no clue what we would find, what if I couldn't bear it?

No. I had to. I would. I needed to be strong for Charlie, he was alive and he needed me and I would be there for him. Somehow this new resolution tucked my fears away and provided me with a newfound courage. I let out a deep breath as we reached yet again another nurses station.

"Hello, my name is Renee … _Swan_ and this is my daughter Isabella Swan. We are here to see Charlie Swan," Renee spoke first in a low but firm voice. I was shocked that she had used her previous married name, I glanced over at Phil but he seemed to be perfectly okay with it. I decided it was because trauma patients were hardly allowed visitors and we were well past any reasonable visitation hours.

A young woman looked up from her desk, she had a couple of patients' charts in front of her, and so I assumed she must have been a nurse. Her hair was a light brown with red highlights, and it was put up in a messy French twist, making her gorgeous blue eyes stand out.

"Please be seated ma'am," she gestured with her hand to the waiting area behind us. "The doctor would like to have a word with you." She amended looking at all of us, her gaze finally resting on Edward; I am guessing she had been oblivious to his presence until now.

Yup, her checks had turned hot pink as she kept on staring. What was her deal? Could she not feel her own face getting hotter? Jeez. But who was I to complain, I had no room or claim on Edward's heart. Just because he was here helping me trough this it didn't mean he was mine. Just because he almost kissed me in my living room that didn't mean that we were together .... did it? Of course not!

I had not forgotten about my little chat with Adonis here. Oh no, he would hear me loud and clear when this matter was settled. For now, I had to concentrate on Charlie's health. He was all that mattered.

We walked to the waiting area, Phil and Renee taking a small white love seat, Phil propped up his feet on a wooden coffee table that would for now serve as an ottoman. Edward and I sat just across from them, into two small padded chairs that matched the love seat in color.

_"Dr. Hudson, please report to Nurses Station four. Dr. Hudson, Nurses Station four please." _

A small and petite woman dressed in blue scrubs stopped by desk we had been standing at not five minutes ago, she exchanged a few words with the nurse and walked our way.

Edward being, well Edward, must have sensed that this was a family matter and excused himself politely, giving me a look that pretty much said he wouldn't be far in case I needed him, I didn't need to be a mind reader for that. But I wondered what he read in Dr. Hudson's mind as he walked away. Well that would be answered in a matter of seconds.

She was pretty and too young to be a doctor, she seemed to be in her mid twenties, but carried herself with such air of professionalism as if she had encountered that comment several times in her young life. Every step she took towards us, she did so with confidence and when she finally came to a halt, I no lounger doubted her medical abilities.

Renee stood as the young woman approached, Dr Hudson's eyes gave away nothing. She appeared to be good at what she did, keeping away all emotional ties from her job and performing it only from a business stance.

"Hello, I am Dr. Hudson, Mr. Swan's attending."

"Dr Hudson, how is he?" I asked as I leaped from my seat. She looked at me briefly and then turned her attention towards Renee and Phil. _Did she think I was a child?_ Renee, who was on her feet as well must have followed my thinking, she reached over and pulled me to her side with her arm around my shoulders. A brief look of comprehension flashed across Dr Hudson's eyes before she spoke.

"He is in critical condition at the moment. We won't know if the surgeries were a complete success until he regains consciousness."

"Can you tell us what happened?" my mom asked with tear filled eyes.

"I don't have any information about that. When he was flown in he was unconscious. He suffered multiple fractures in his arms, legs, ribs and collarbone and a small skull fracture." She said matter-of-factly, as if she were reciting a speech that was well rehearsed. _How many times she had done this?_, I wondered.

"The surgery was meant to repair the broken bones, and stop internal hemorrhage caused by such fractures. His left lung was pierced as well as his large intestine. Our surgical team was able to control the bleeding and stitch up his organs."

"Oh Charlie," Renee let out a cry and fell back onto the love seat, pulling me with her. Dr Hudson sat on the edge of the coffee table to keep eye level with her.

"The fracture to the skull indicates severe head trauma and it could have been caused by mechanisms such as a fall or a car accident. We won't know the extent of the brain injury until he is stable enough to be moved for some more tests to see the level of his brain activity."

"Brain activity?" Phil had taken a seat beside Renee on the arm of the couch, and was holding her hand.

"The head trauma Mr. Swan suffered was small but there is still a risk of permanent bilateral damage to the brain. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but his injuries indicate that the patient could have entered into a comatose state instantaneously. Like I said, we don't know for sure yet and I would like to run a CT when he is stable."

_What? Coma?!? Was she serious?_ This couldn't be happening. All of the sudden the walls started closing in on me. The whiteness was too much, it was suffocating me.

_I can't breathe!_ I wanted to scream, but I couldn't.

I couldn't even hear what Dr. Hudson was now saying. All the hospital sounds started to morph into one low incoherent buzz. My head started spinning. I felt sick to my stomach, I started to get up, but my body felt so heavy. Renee's face along with everyone else's started to blur, the white walls too. I tried once again to pull myself up, I needed some fresh air, I needed to get away from the low buzzing sound and the white walls. Just when I managed to stand on my own two feet, I started to get the sensation that I was falling, as if I had gone bungee jumping or sky diving. My stomach was in a knot and I could feel my heart pounding at my throat. And then it all went black.


	13. 13 JACOB BLACK Misjudgements

**A/N – Okay guys here it is, now before you find a tree to hang me from let me give you some perspective. Bella left Forks before Jacob had any chance to develop any STRONG feelings for her, sure he thought she was cute and was really happy when they got to hang out together. But it was nothing more than a crush. Also, he is not a werewolf… I'm not going to say yet because I don't know myself if that's where this will go so. Ok recap, Jacob is not mad head over heels in love with Bella and … he doesn't have any paws.**

**Chapter 13 – Jacob Black – Misjudgments**

As much as I hated going over to the Clearwater's I had to find my dad.

Ever since Sam Uley got a bunch of the La Push kids involved in this cult of his, they all hung out there and I knew it would be freaky for me. It's almost like those guys couldn't breathe unless Sam said it was okay. They weren't zombie like or anything but they kept to themselves, ran around at night and in the rain, and I had the feeling they were doing Steroids, and god knows what. One day they were the regular skinny lanky fifteen year olds and the next day, they were Arnold Schwarzenegger wanna-bes.

Even my dad was stuck up Sam's butt; he was always talking about what a great kid Sam turned out to be. How La Push was a better place to live because they had Sam, how I would benefit from giving Sam a chance. Ugh! I was so grateful when Bella came and started hanging out with me in the garage, and now she too was gone.

I couldn't believe we hadn't heard anything about Charlie's accident. Sure we weren't part of Forks but La Push was only minutes away, and plus Billy and Charlie were practically attached at the hip.

I walked out to the garage and started my bike, Bella memories came rushing back but I shook them away. No time to get all mushy.

I rode the short distance to the Clearwater's in a drizzle, it had been low cast the past few days with a storm just neighboring by, which was okay, I never did mind the rain much. As I approached the drive way, I could see the lights on and hear several voices speaking at the same time.

"HOW COULD WE…." Started to yell someone.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER…"cut in a louder second voice, making the first one almost inaudible.

"WE NEED TO GO…." started another.

"SILENCE…. We have company." I picked up on this last voice, it was full or authority. Sam.

I had just killed the engine and was resting the bike on its kickstand when the front door opened and out came the guys I used to run around with. They walked out one by one, Sam at the lead, the rest taking a stance at the left and right of him. They took turns doing so until they were all out; they looked like a small army. Jeez!

"Jacob." Sam said only my name but it sounded as a greeting.

"Hey Sam." I stammered, digging both my hands in my pockets. _Why am I so nervous? Its still the same guys, just a little different that's all. _I took a deep breath to ease up a bit, but something inside me still triggered a prime survival instinct. Fear. But why? "Uhm… is my dad here?"

The group parted in the middle, making an opening for me to see behind them the silhouette of my father's chair. At that moment someone switched the light to the front porch on, and I could see his face. It was a sight I had never seen before; his face was distorted in a mix of emotions, fear, sadness, anger and disgust all at once. He wheeled himself out onto the porch coming a few feet closer to me looking at me with blood shot eyes, he had been crying. He knew about Charlie.

"Hello Son."

"Dad, are you okay?" I asked knowing very well he wasn't. I took a couple of steps forward and stop just at the foot of the three stairs that led up onto the porch. I didn't understand until this very moment just how close to Charlie my dad was.

He said nothing, but cleared his throat once loudly and looked away.

"Dad, Bella called." I prompted.

Silence again, but this time he turned his gaze back to me. Not knowing how to approach the subject, though I was pretty sure he already knew, I just blurted it out.

"Charlie is in a hospital in Seattle, I told Bella we'd meet her there."

"He's alive?" my dad's voice almost broke in a cry but quickly recomposed himself.

There was confusion among the group, but overall relief was noticeable. It was all if all of them had been holding their breath until that moment. _What happened? How were they involved? Had they… No! They couldn't have done this to Charlie!_ _What if they were out causing trouble and …_It made sense, I mean how else would my dad have known? They came to confess, my dad was no chief but he was one of the elders, and they all knew of his friendship with Charlie. Charlie. Bella's father. Now she was hurting because of these bastards! I balled my hands into fists, dug my fingernails so deep into my own flesh that I could feel tiny crescent cuts forming.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" I demanded, the loudness of my voice surprising me.

"Jacob calm down." My dad said in a serene voice.

"Calm down? NO I won't calm down. Your best friend in fighting for his life in a hospital and you defend these… freaks?" Was he serious I wondered?

"Watch it Jake!" Paul spat.

"You stay out of this Paul." I warned. I could feel the anger firing up inside me. Anger … and resentment. How could my own father be closer to all these troublemakers than he was to me? His own flesh and blood, his only family.

"Stay out of it? You are the one coming here throwing accusations! You don't even know what happened!" I could feel Paul's frustration radiating from his body.

"I don't need to but I can imagine pretty well. He caught you all didn't he? Stealing some equipment, graffiting a building or whatever it is your little cult does! He caught you and you all ambushed him!" I said full of bitterness.

"You are wrong Jacob. You have no idea how wrong you are." Sam responded in a controlled voice.

"You want to know what happened? I'll tell you!" spat Paul once again.

"Paul." Sam warned looking at Paul in a way that dared him to defy him.

"Whatever man! This is B.S. and I don't have to take it! He has no freaking idea what we do. What expose ourselves to, and he accuses us of murder? No way, I am done here. I'll see you guys later," and with that Paul disappeared into the forest.

"Jacob stop it!" my dad said sharply but without raising his voice. "You are wrong son and that's all you need to know." He turned his head to Sam and said, "will you drive me back to my place, me and Jacob are going to see Charlie."

"Sure thing Billy."

"Jacob, how could you?" said Embry with sad eyes.

I looked at him once and turned my back on him. I was sure they were lying, all of them, trying to cover up their act. I walked towards my bike and took off into the night.

**A/N - Postscript.... I am happy to see an increase in readers. Traffic is high! I get tons of e-mails a day from the site notifing me that so and so has suscribed to my story, added it to favorites, or me to favorite authors...... BUT my review count is really low. It kind of bums me out. =( **

** I want to know what you are thinking... please... i see my story as well really good... but i am BIASED... So please let me in on what you think, feel, like or dislike. Make comments, i promise not to take them to heart.... to much. =) so please .... get my review rate up =P**


	14. 14 EDWARD Fate Full Chapter

**A/n - First off let me say - the story is growing in audience and it makes me shriek with joy... seriously my sister is eyeing me like I am an idiot. LOL but its SOOO cool to have such a huge fan base. =) Ok. Here is the complete chapeter. I reposted te first part because I am really big on FLOW... and i think you kind of need it to get the feel of things, BUT feel free to skim or skip to the end... i did edit some parts of Part one thou... spelling grammar and the like.**

**Edward Chapter 14 – Fate FULL CHAPTER**

I have been roaming this world for almost a century now and I can honestly say that I have been the most surprised in the past two years. I have known what is like to fall in love, to love someone with such fire and depth that I was willing to hurt so she may live. Not only that but I have known what it felt like to BE loved. She loved me for me, despite of the monster I was, and the danger I was to her very existence. I have always been a skeptic, not truly believing in things such as love, forgiveness, or fate, yet in the short period of time that I have known Isabella Marie Swan, it's almost like some higher being is trying to prove to me the existence of them all. And now, I couldn't deny them.

Fate has crossed our paths once again and I cannot help but wonder… for what purpose? Have we (our love) been given a second chance? Are we meant to be together.... for eternity? Perhaps I am here to help her through these rough times, she is human and all the beautiful qualities that make her human also make her weak and vulnerable. So... is that why we have been thrown together again? So I can hold her hand and provide comfort as she goes through this hell? Or maybe it's just another cruel joke, maybe we are just marionettes in a higher power's puppet show and they are having a laugh at our expense… at her expense?

None of my questions were being answered, but none of that mattered. She was here, in Canada and I would do what ever it took to make her smile again. Even if it meant just being a friend…

I sat at the foot of her staircase pondering all of this when a cell phone went of in Bella's bedroom, interrupting my thoughts. The tune stopped only to start off once again, but was cut off almost immediately by Bella's voice.

_Jake?_ - She spoke into the phone.

She sounded… _happy?_

Who was this Jake character? Someone she met at school today? Highly unlikely. Bella is usually shy and wouldn't give her number, her cell phone number, to any new acquaintance I quickly concluded. It must be someone she has known before, but who?

Jake.

I ruffled through my memories from Forks High School, scanning through the many faces of her friends taking my time on each one, but came up empty handed, not finding a single character by that name. Jake. Jealousy tainted my vision, a low growl rested at my throat, but I quickly suppressed it. She is not mine_..._ She has the right to be happy, to move on. That is what I had intended for her all along, when I set the wheels of my _lies_ in motion and this … this _coincidence_ … changes nothing! Somehow this phone call provided an answer my question regarding fate –If it in fact existed – had put me in her path once again for a completely separate reason than my own feelings towards her. She needed a friend and that's what I would be for her and nothing more. I was certain that although I had told her everything, she had no feelings for me anymore.

I had been so distracted by my selfishness and own pity party that I missed the entire conversation. Bella was now coming down the steps, her eyes puffy and red again. _Did they fight? Did he say anything to hurt her feelings?!_ I almost let these questions run out of my hard lips, but caught them before they slipped out of my venom filled tongue. A friend… Just a friend. I must remember that.

I got up and watched her descend the stairwell, her hand caressing the banister. Oh how I wish I was that railing! To feel her warm hand run trough me once again. Focus... Friend.

"Hey," I whispered loud enough for her to hear "You okay?" what more could I ask her without barging into her private life.

Her angelic brown eyes met mine, hers conveying some emotion hard to decipher. What was she thinking right now? Ugh, I was going to go insane without the ability of reading her thoughts.

"Yeah…" she paused and bit her lower lip. My vampire-intensified senses allowed me to hear her perfect white teeth scraping her soft skin, I was able to see her tongue just briefly and that alone sent sparks all over my body. How I wanted her! "…yeah. I was just telling Jake about Charlie…" she continued, her brow creasing the perfect way it did when she was worried. Again with that guy, _Jake!_ She said his name as if he was part of her everyday life, which I guessed he must be. A very important part to her everyday life… Well at least now I knew that he hadn't caused her tears, her re-telling her about Charlie did. My poor sweet Bella.

The flight was short, and I pretended to sleep as to avoid the many burning questions (and glares) coming from Renee. I tuned them out by concentrating on Bella's rhythmic breathing and the sound of her precious beating heart, how I missed these sounds. My thoughts quickly traveled to a time when I was most happy, to a time of no worries, no hospitals…no Jakes. To a time where I would lay beside her warm body and just watch her chest rise and fall. A time when she spoke my name in her dreams causing me to fall more and more in love with her. But of course, nothing last forever (not even for me an immortal) and my existence brought turmoil to her life. Yes, she was better of without me.

The hospital reeked of human blood sending my nostrils in a frenzy, I had been around hospitals a few decades ago when I helped Carlisle as a med student, but I was a predator and it still had somewhat of an impact on me. I was no Carlisle. So I decided to hold my breath for the second time today, and only use it in case I was spoken to.

We were re-routed to the Trauma Unit… this wouldn't be good. Once at the second nurse's station I tried to get a glimpse of the situation through the young nurses' aide but once she laid eyes on me it was useless. I had to give her credit though, her fantasies were the cleanest I had encountered this far. She played different scenarios in her head, all very subtle ways of getting my attention. There was only one who held my heart and she was not the slightest bit interested in me…at least not anymore. No matter how great my intentions had been when I left her, I had hurt her more than I ever thought possible and now she was no longer mine. We sat together again and the closeness was both heaven and hell, a mixture of pain and misery. Fate was indeed taunting me, showing me what I once had and now never would. I sat there in silence with them awaiting the news when i heard the doctor was paged…

"Dr. Hudson, please report to Nurses Station four. Dr. Hudson, Nurses Station four please."

Hudson. Hudson. Hudson. I zeroed in on that name, my mind invading the private thoughts of any hospital employee that crossed the name.

A female mind caught my attention_ - Yeah at the Hudson… _- Nope, that's the river not the doctor.

_Dr. Hudson wants a CT on him- _a male nurse… ah now we were getting somewhere…he provided me with a face of a young woman, blonde and devoted to her profession. I used this mental image and located her walking towards the nurse's station. Her mind a disarray of scattered thoughts…

_Twenty seven hours straight....No Sleep…Must have coffee soon!_

_Coffee?! Shit! Ray! Crap. Crap. Crap. This is the third time I stood him up. _

_Stood. Man in room 1458, will he ever walk again? Drinking and Driving, when will people learn. Alcohol is poison to the brain. _

_Brain… scans… Patient Swan room 1477. Post op. Disaster. Fall? Wreck? Brain…never again. Functions…maybe? Chances? 35% or less. Poor Family. _

_Family? PAGED! They are here. Oh God! Oh God Oh God Oh God. Breathe…breathe Audrey… just breathe. _

Not only did I hear her thoughts but I also saw quick flashes of Charlie's arrival via E.R. care flight.

_Flash._ Dr Hudson had met the team on the roof.

_Flash._ Charlie's mangled body lay limp on a blood stained stretcher, his flesh torn open, seeping with blood.

_Flash._ The dash to the O.R.

_Flash._ The surgical team trying to stop the bleeding…. So much blood lost.

_Flash. _His heart stopping. – hold it. He died on the table?! - Paddles... shocked him…once…twice…three times…a shot of EPI…. A faint heart beat…He was back.

The images came fast and short, as if she were watching a film that was badly edited, jumping from scene to scene.

_Okay Audrey, you can do this. Just another case… another case…My God! Why does my heart feel like it's about to explode? Breathe-breathe-breathe! _

"You paged me?" she asked the nurses aide we had seen earlier, her voice coming off strong, calm and collected, totally the opposite of what her thoughts were, I was impressed for the second time today. Maybe I hadn't been giving humans enough credit, they were indeed complex creatures.

She exchanged a few words with the nurse's aide, and after taking another deep mouthful of air she started to make her way towards us. That was my cue to leave, I didn't want to leave Bella, I felt like I needed to be here, but I also knew this was an intimate moment and I had already intruded too much. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

"I need to call my parents, excuse me for a minute." I stood up, taking a moment to look at Bella briefly in hopes that I could convey to her my intentions and that I would be on stand-by. She nodded once, signaling me that she understood.

"Sure thing Ed" Phil answered in acknowledgement, Phil's thoughts weren't as negative as Renee's and I was glad to have one parent on my side. I knew that had we came to Seattle under totally different circumstances, I would be getting more than an earful from Charlie, and it would be well deserved.

I walked a good fifteen paces away and although I was still within hearing distance (for a vampire); I had no need to eavesdrop. Instead I reached to the back pocket of my jeans and took out my silver blackberry phone and dialed home.

"Edward!" Esme's voice answered the call after only half a ring. We didn't need caller ID with Alice around.

"Hey Esme, is Carlisle back from his shift at the hospital?" I asked her thinking that I should have tried his cell first, but if he was home that would have been useless, we had very bad reception at the mansion.

"Yes Edward, here he is" she answered in her all too motherly voice.

"Hello Edward how is Bella's father?" his voice came across the tiny speaker full of genuine concern sending a stab at my dead heart. I was not the only one that cared about Bella and in my thick headedness I failed to realize how my actions from almost a year ago would impact all of my family, well all but Rosalie. She was the true meaning of a cold hearted bitch.

"Alice didn't tell you." I stated simply. I guess her visions were still a little hazy as a result of my selfish actions.

"No, your mother and I were reading in the lounge when she dashed in telling us you were about to call, she didn't say much more." he quickly filled me in.

"Dr. Hanson is just about to break the news to them." I spoke onto the phone and turned to see that Dr. Hanson was just now introducing herself as Swan's attending. I turned my back to them in order to give them the feeling of privacy, no matter how fake that feeling was. "Charlie is in very delicate condition, blunt head trauma among other injuries. He's in a coma and has a 35% chance of coming out of it. Carlisle, you work in one of the best hospitals in Canada, and I know the Neurology Department there is rated among the top five worldwide, is there anything you can do?" I asked him in a pleading voice, the desperation I felt enunciating every word.

_Give me the phone!_ – I heard Alice in the background. I tried to see into her mind but she beat me to it by taking the phone away from Carlisle.

"Edward! Catch her!" – She yelled to me, what was she talking about? – "Turn around and catch her!" I spun my head around so fast if I was human I would have given myself whiplash and zeroed in on my Bella.

"…_.entered into a comatose state instantaneously. Like I said, we don't know for sure yet and I would like to run a CT when he is stable." _I heard Audrey tell them in a barely audible voice. I noticed Carlisle using the same tone of voice when he told the family that he'd done all he could.

My sweet Bella! There she sat on the edge of her seat, her soft hands at her lap, and her features a combination of pain and guilt. At that second, the color of her face started to change, fading from her soft discrete pink to an ashen bold white. I could see the blood drain slowly from it and grow paler by the second. I heard her lungs strain for air as they compressed painfully, and her heart beat played a musical rhythm that started off fast, speeding with each passing millisecond and slow down abruptly.

"NOW!" Alice's loud voice broke my trance like stare.

I hung up the phone, slid it in my back pocket and made my way back to them, at a brisk pace for a human, but sluggish for me an immortal. Alice said to catch her? What did she mean? I was maybe five paces away when Bella stood up, her eyes unfocused, her breathing ragged. I saw her stunning brown eyes get glossy and roll to the back of her head; her eye lids fluttered making the sound of a butterfly's wings. I quickened my pace and managed to catch her slender body at the same time it went limp in my cold stone arms. How I wanted to embrace her and swoop her away to place far away from this, but she wanted to be here and I was no one to go against her wishes.

"Bella?! Oh my god! Bella? Baby what's wrong?" Renee was of her feet in front of me, both her hands on either side of Bella's ashen cheeks.

Dr. Hudson signaled the nurse and I heard call a code. In a few seconds two male nurses appeared with a rolling stretcher, signaling me to lay her on it. I was reluctant to let go of her warm body, but I knew I couldn't hold her in my arms forever no matter how much I wished that to be so. I obliged to their demands, setting her down gently on the loud plastic covered mattress that reeked of death. I grimaced at the thought of her laying on that piece of crap, but I had no choice. I tucked a loose strand of her silky hair back behind her ear, running my finger on the edges of her face and jaw. The electricity I felt at the contact of my stone skin to her soft velvet one was undeniable. I had to find a way to get her back, I just had to! I stepped away conscious of Renee's stares and thoughts and the nurses wheeled her off to a tiny exam room, all three of us trailing behind.

*************

**A/N - So the last part was a bit short... But Dr Hudson's conversation with the Swan family was really about five minutes long... and Edward needed to catch Bella... AND Jacob is about to arrive and I am not done sorting out how that will play out... i'm excited tho =] **

**What did you think?! Review.... pleaseee? **


	15. 15 BELLA Red Eyes

**a/n - ok so i deleted a document...ah i am freaking out and I don't know how it will affect the posted chapters.... I don't have time to look at it right now so if you "catch" what I accidentally deleted PLEASE let me know so I can re-upload it... okay? I still get new readers and i would hate if they missed a chapter... i will look into it tomorrow... Ok read a/n at the end of this chapter HAPPY READING... please comment/critique .... i need to know how bad I am sucking =]**

**Chapter 16 - BELLA *Red Eyes***

_I lied._

_I lied about not loving you anymore… about not wanting you in my life._

I heard his voice echo from somewhere, but it was so dark I could not see. I walked a few paces in one direction but the darkness was too much, not knowing what was out there frightened me. So I walked the other direction trying to find some way out of this… room? Hole? It dawned on me that I had no idea where I was.

-_Edward?_ - Silence- _Edward where are you? – _I whispered.

-_Bella? Bells, is that you?_

-_Daddy?!_ - I called, my voice shaky but loud.

Charlie! I wasn't alone anymore. His voice was a hoarse whisper, strained and almost elderly like, but my heart knew it was him. He was here, somewhere, and I would find him and together we would make it out of this place.

-_Bellaaaah, where are you? – _His hoarse whisper sent chills down my spine, but I ignored the fear and called back in screams.

-_I'm here ! Daddy I am here!!_

I felt a presence behind me, familiar yet foreign at the same time, I turned around but it was gone only to be at my back once more. I swallowed hard hoping to get some courage to take off running into the darkness that surrounded me, but I heard his hoarse whisper again, this time chanting my name.

_-Beh-lahh … beehh-laahh!_

Panic stricken I started to wander around in the dark with no sense of direction whatsoever, the only thing directing me forwards was the fear I felt within. Something was wrong! I knew the voice calling out to me belonged to Charlie, but it wasn't _him!_ I stumbled over my own two feet and landed face first on the cold ground. My palms caressed the ground under me in hopes of getting a feel for my location; it was neither dirt nor carpet. The surface was smooth, slick and damp… and arctic. The feel of it make me think of how an ice cube felt to my fingertips. I nearly jumped up from disgust; I didn't know were I was but I certainly did not want my face against this ground. There was a faint noise I hadn't heard until now, coming off from a distance. It reminded me of the bathroom Charlie and I shared at forks. It was the noise the shower would make after every use for about fifteen minutes or so…

_drip…._

_drip….._

_drip….._

My sense of touch and hearing were all I could go by. I knew that if I started walking towards that noise I'd find a wall … or at least I hoped I would. And that wall _had _to lead me to a door or a window at the very least. I started walking blindly again surprised that I couldn't hear the sound of my own footsteps. Just the constant dripping sound in the distance. I felt a cold hand wrap around my wrist making me jump at once, but the cool feel of that hand reminded me of Edward, waves of comfort ran through me.

_-Edward! … Edward I am so scared. Something is wrong I can feel it._

_drip….._

_drip….._

_drip….._

-_Edward? Speak to me! – _I demanded.

The darkness was still, eerie. A chill ran from the top of my head down my spine and reached my feet making me shudder in fear. The grasp on my wrist got firmer, angrier it seemed.

_-Edward? – _I whispered this time.

-_Bells, I finally found you._ – Charlie's strained voice answered making my fear spike.

Slowly the darkness began to lift in what appeared to be a sunrise, although it was inverted…instead of the light shinning through the horizon, it started to shine from overhead in hues of light purple defeating the darkness. I turned to face Charlie and what I saw nothing could have prepared me for. _Oh my god!_ His face… the first thing that drew my attention was the familiar tinge his once brown eyes held, red irises stared back at me. RED! The huge stone like figure of what had been Officer Swan was twisted in thirst driven pain. Thirst! He was the predator and I was its prey! My own father was hunting me! No, it was Charlie's body but I knew my father was not inside it anymore. The grip on my wrist got tighter and tighter, making my veins strain to get blood on through my fingertips.

_-Charlie! Charlie let go! You don't have to do this. You don't have to be this way! –_ I pleaded, knowing well it wouldn't work but still hoping nonetheless.

_Snap!_

I heard the sound just a millisecond before I felt the throbbing pain. I must have screamed, but I couldn't be sure. The intense pain I felt blocked out anything else going on around me leaving me alone with my thoughts. This _is it! I am going to die … alone… at the hands of my father. _Not wanting to witness what was about to happen to me I closed my eyes and allowed (or tried to) my mind to wander of to my dreamland. A place where everything was as it should, where Renee had never left Charlie, where I grew up in Forks and was life long friends with Mike, Angela, Eric and Jessica. To a place where I had met the Cullens when they first arrived in Forks, thus giving me and Edward more time together. To a place where he never left me and none of this was happening. I played the scenario vividly in my head, going over each detail with careful concentration, trying to get away from what was my reality. The pain began to diminish … I hear a familiar voice.

"She's had a panic attack; it's very common in situations like these. Her heart rate is returning to normal… she should come to fairly soon." I recognized this voice but couldn't put a face or a name to it.

"Thank you Dr. Hudson. I was so scared; this has been a really hard day for her." _Mom? …Dr. Hudson?_

I could still feel the cold hand at my wrist, although there was no pain where there was once.

"She's waking up…" came _his _velvet-like voice. _Edward? Why can't I speak? _I tried to open my eyes and was blinded by the inverse sunrise… the once purple light had turned bright white making me squint. I blinked a couple of times trying to adjust to the lighting. An icy hand caressed my cheek, making me shudder and pull away, thus making the icy hand pull away too.

"Bella?" Renee called out to me.

"Mom?" I somewhat spoke, my voice sounded raspy and groggy.

"It's ok baby, I am here. You passed out but you are okay now."

My eyes finally adjusted to the light, but blinked furiously a couple of times trying to focus. Everything was so blurry at first, and then … There _he_ was looking down on me.

***********

**a/n - Please note the way the dialogue is written... in italics... i usually do thoughts in italics... this was a panoc induced nightmare bella had and in it everything is inverse... the dialogue... the sunrise... the color of the sunrise... Just thought it'd be kind of cool to give the dream a twisted and weird effect... since its far from reality and alll....**

**anyway please comment =]**


	16. 16 BELLA EDWARD The Other Road

**[a/n] I know its been ages since I last posted... life is really busy at the moment! Anyway here is the latest!! Hope you enjoy!! Please comment me!!! Rate and Review...**

**Chapter 17 BELLA – The other road**

I stared into his golden eyes for a moment, allowing myself to momentarily believe the words he had spoken to me earlier today. That he did in fact love me and had never meant a word he said to me in the forest almost a year ago. Reality started to sink in, erasing all of my daydreams of our life together. It all made perfect sense now! Alice had seen this before it ever happened. She must have talked to Edward and implored him to be nice to me so that I could endure this. Ugh! Again with this crap! I was growing so sick and tired of always being taken care of. I was an adult now, and I would join the real world soon enough …alone! I needed to learn how to take care of myself, bad situations or not. This ends here! I won't let him feel forced into something he despised. But I knew Edward well and confrontation about the matter would get me nowhere, he was very thick headed and stubborn when he wanted to be, which was most of the time. I must think of another way…

"Do you want some water?" he asked with what seemed to be genuine concern in his eyes.

"I will go grab you some ice chips," Renee offered and as she turned she gave Edward a menacing glare. If looks could kill, I thought and halfway smirked.

"What's so funny?" puzzlement invaded his gorgeous features. I was so glad he couldn't venture inside my head.

"Renee wants to kill you." I stated

"I know!" he said rolling his eyes. "Your little performance gave me a much needed break from all the yelling and torturing ideas that roamed inside her head." Was he joking with me? Ah there it was his crooked grin. Yup! Definitely a joke, and a bad one too.

"Not funny!" I retorted with a bit of sourness in my voice. Aha! I had found my route. I would be mean and ugly to him until he got tired of performing and thus forcing him to confess his and Alice's evil plan.

"I know, I am sorry." I could almost believe he was being honest, puppy eyes and all, but I was determined not to be fooled.

"Any news on Charlie?" I evaded his heart throbbing look, focusing my gaze at the medical charts that hung on the wall of the tiny room.

"Nothing has changed." The empathy in his voice was easy to pinpoint, he knew what it was like to have a parent in the middle of a life and death battle. "I am sure everything will be ok." He offered after a brief moment of silence.

"Oh yeah? Alice says so?" I blurted out before I could catch the acid words that were rolling out of my tongue, returning my gaze back to his glorious face just in time to catch the shadow of a pained look. Ok so maybe I need to bring it down a notch, no need to get _real_ ugly. I was about to offer an apology but he spoke before I could conjure one up.

"No." he stood from the chair that was next to my … bed? Stretcher? Cot? Turned around and walked 2 paces to the wall on the opposite end. He raised his arms, an action that made his arm muscles stand out from underneath the shirt he was wearing, and leaned them against the wall creating a perfect diagonal line with his body. Perfect, just like he was…just like I would never be. I didn't know what to say next, so I sat there in silence. What was he thinking? Hmm maybe that he should call this charade quits right now and save him the trouble. He was probably cursing Alice for dragging him into a mess he wanted no part of.

The door swung open.

Renee entered the room and abruptly stopped gazing from me to Edward and back to me again. What did she think she was going to find? Two teenagers making out in a medical exam room? Ha! He left me and now he was being forced to lie… ugh! Disgusting.

"Here Bella, how are you feeling?" she handed me a small Styrofoam cup filled with crushed ice as I sat up.

I took the cup and brought it to my lips, trying to get an ice chip with my tongue and failing. I shook the cup a bit, trying to loosen the already melting bits of frozen water and tried again. No such luck. Frustrated I tipped the cup upside down against my lips, and tapped on the bottom of the cup with my free hand, all contents spilling over my face.

"Oh honey," Renee gushed, making my blush grow brighter. Mom! Not in front of him, I wanted to whisper, but I knew I couldn't get away with that with a vampire in the room. I flashed my eyes towards where he stood casually leaning against the wall facing me this time, arms crossed against his torso, crooked smile on his face. No doubt he was thinking how things never change, how a mere human like myself would never change.

Anger flooded my body, but I contained it from taking control. Instead I took a deep breath closed my eyes and swung my legs over the edge of the mattress.

"Here, hold onto me." Renee offered her arm for support

"Mom, I am ok now." I waved her away.

"Bella, you don't know that, please you should rest some more." She tried to reason with me, in vain of course. Edward was not the only stubborn one.

"Mom, I want to see Charlie. I _need_ to see Charlie." I looked up at hear, tears already peeking at the corners of my eyes.

"Okay Bella."

I slid off the stretcher with ease, I was relieved that I didn't feel dizzy or light headed, as I was expecting. We walked out of the room, Edward following Renee and I towards the nurses station one more time.

**EDWARD - The other guy**

Bella always puzzled me before but this time I was at a loss for words. There were so many conflicting emotions within her; I didn't know what to make of it. She once had said that her mother called her an open book because she was so "easy to read." If I had once felt like this girl was unlike any other, always reacting the exact opposite of what I expected, but now I felt completely illiterate. I couldn't read her at all. If I could stare into her eyes, I knew I would be able to make sense of it all, but she kept evading mine. I had held their attention for a second when she first came to, her dark chocolate pools were staring back at me and I thought I saw a ghost of the feelings we once shared. But it was just that, a ghost and it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. She was a bit forceful and rude at times, not that I was complaining, I deserved that tenfold for being the idiot that I was. I was more confused than ever, this afternoon I for sure thought that I might have a second chance at this, at us. I was confident that after spilling my horrid truth she would forgive me and come back to me. Of course she would need some time where she could blow steam, get angry, cry, get sad, cool off and then be relieved. But for some reason I took our meeting here in Canada as just that, a second chance. Right now I wasn't so sure. She was mad at times, at others just indifferent. Like she could care less that I was even here. Maybe this was her way of "blowing steam."

I walked behind her and Renee as they made their way to Charlie's room. We were walking up to the waiting area were an awful smell caught my nose. What the hell is that?! It was faint but the odor still managed to burn my nostrils.

"Jake!" Bella practically shrieked as she freed herself from Renee and threw her petite body into the arms of a tall dark skinned guy. A guy who was too quick in wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her neck just as I had done many times before. I felt a growl creep at my throat and venom rush to my mouth, swishing around between my tongue and my steel teeth. The growl reached my vocal cords and was about to escape but I quickly disguised it as a coughing fit. That seemed to bring the happy couple back down to earth and join the rest of us.

It was then that I saw the guys face for the first time since his arrival. He looked up from Bella's neck right at me, a flash of anger crossing his dark eyes.

_Son of a bitch! What is HE doing here?_ – His thoughts spat at me. I was flooded with snapshot images of Bella, just like I had before with Dr. Hudson. Snapshot after another they came, the first few were too painful to see. She looked so skinny and almost dead-like, frail and fragile. Gradually though I could see a change in her, images of them together radiated some sort of happiness that showed on her face. In each snapshot she seemed happier, healthier, and lighter than the last one. I could see why the sudden anger in this guys eyes; he was the one that put her back together again after I left her shattered.

Bella spun around and looked from me to him a couple of times, and I noticed that his arm was still around her back resting at her waist. Another bolt of anger shot through me and I suppressed my need to hiss and crouch down into an attack position. It was obvious that he was her boyfriend and I had no claim on her person and definitely not her heart. After all I had done to her and after what he had done for her… I had no right to even try to start things up again. The face and the name Jake didn't make sense together; although I had a feeling I had seen that face before somewhere.

"Jacob Black!! Is that you?" Renee was staring intently at Bella's boyfriend.

BLACK! That's why he looked familiar! He was the kid that came to talk to Bella at the prom! Better yet, he was Billy Black's son… the elder whose land we were forbidden to set foot on.

Not only had I lost Bella to another guy…I lost her to a damn dog.

**[a/n] At this point Edward is so focused on the fact that there is ANOTHER guy at Bella's side that he is overlooking other details...very important details....like say the fact that Jacob is NOT a dog!! But he will become aware of that in the next few chapters... if you have any other q's email me... that way i can get back to you! OK now.... REVIEW**


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